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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? v.8

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? v. 8
Nowadays, more and more people, especially young ones, are keen on playing video games. These games can be both educational and entertaining; however, there are also some disadvantages while playing them. In my opinion, the video games’ bad effects definitely outweigh the benefits. Playing games are considered as fun to play and to learn. Providing that some of them are virtual environments that simulate real-life experiences, players jump into that virtual world and enjoy more instead the real pastimes. From an educational perspective, games help people learn new skills easier and understandable because imagination and creativity are boosted. Motor’s skill, concentration, logical thinking and problem solving can be easily absorbed into the child’s mind. Such games like Minecraft motivates players to be creative to build structures and machines in a complex yet interesting mechanic. Knowing that playing games is exciting and educational, I believe that it is more harmful. Objective missions and scoring makes that game more competitive than ever, and players have to keep them up by playing more, makes them more addictive. Games addictions make children from spending less time on assignments to being lack of sleep for schools’ activities. Also, the rise of obesity can be included as the sedentary lifestyle developed in terms of using computers for too long. To sum up, I believe that playing video games is fun and easy to learn; however, it is affected to human’s mental and physical health.
Nowadays, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
young ones, are keen on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be both educational and entertaining;
however
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
them. In my opinion, the video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects definitely outweigh the benefits.

Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are considered
as fun to play and to learn. Providing that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are virtual environments that simulate real-life experiences, players jump into that virtual world and enjoy more
instead
the real pastimes. From an educational perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
easier and understandable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
imagination and creativity
are boosted
. Motor’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, concentration, logical thinking and problem solving can be
easily
absorbed into the child’s mind. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like Minecraft motivates players to be creative to build structures and machines in a complex
yet
interesting mechanic.

Knowing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is exciting and educational, I believe that it is more harmful. Objective missions and scoring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
that game more competitive than ever, and players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them up by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
more,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more addictive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
addictions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
children from spending less time on assignments to being lack of sleep for schools’ activities.
Also
, the rise of obesity can
be included
as the sedentary lifestyle developed in terms of using computers for too long.

To sum up, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is fun and easy to learn;
however
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to human’s mental and physical health.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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