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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? v.14

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? v. 14
In the modern world, computers and electronics entertainment devices have become totally pervasive in our society. Video game, one aspect of electronics entertainment, has triggered many debates about its positive and negative impact on health and psychology. Several studies have been done and researchers have divided opinion on the effects of video games on player's health and mentality. In my opinion, benefits of video games outshine the drawbacks if few cautions are taken by players in selecting the type of games. Among the bad effects of video games, its impact on health is most debated. Studies suggest that youngsters are spending more time at home than playing outside, which clearly has effects on their growth and development. But with the development of newer technologies, newer forms of games are available in the market, which encourages people to participate actively and physically in different sports. Sony Corporation, for example, has a virtual tennis game where a user needs to play with a computer holding a sensor in his hand which works as a tennis racket. This gives the user a virtual experience of a real game. And also helps to improve mind and body coordination by letting the user flex his responses. Therefore, choice of video game and the device make a lot of difference. Another important positive effect of the video game is on brain development and problem-solving skills. Online Puzzles and number games are increasingly being used by schools to improve thinking capacity of the pupil. Similarly, corporate have training programs designed in form of computer games. This helps to make sure that trainees focus and interest are maintained and maximum knowledge is passed in a fun filled way. Therefore, video games have a higher degree of positive effects on human than their negative effect and can be used as a tool for learning and development. But, like any other tool caution needs to be taken in selection and usage.
In the modern world, computers and electronics entertainment devices have become
totally
pervasive in our society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
game, one aspect of electronics entertainment, has triggered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
debates about its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on health and psychology. Several studies have
been done
and researchers have divided opinion on the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on player's health and mentality. In my opinion, benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
outshine the drawbacks if few cautions
are taken
by players in selecting the type of games.

Among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, its impact on health is most debated. Studies suggest that youngsters are spending more time at home than playing outside, which
clearly
has effects on their growth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of newer technologies, newer forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are available in the market, which encourages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to participate
actively
and
physically
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sports. Sony Corporation,
for example
, has a virtual tennis game where a user needs to play with a computer holding a sensor in his hand which works as a tennis racket. This gives the user a virtual experience of a real game. And
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
mind and body coordination by letting the user flex his responses.
Therefore
, choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game and the device
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difference.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game is on brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Online Puzzles and number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
increasingly
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by schools to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
thinking capacity of the pupil.
Similarly
, corporate have training programs designed in form of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that trainees focus and interest
are maintained
and maximum knowledge
is passed
in a fun filled way.

Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have a higher degree of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on human than their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a tool for learning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, like any other tool caution needs to
be taken
in selection and usage.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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