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Some people really like living in a big city some others prefer living in small town. which do you like better? use specific reasons to support v.2

Some people really like living in a big city some others prefer living in small town. which do you like better? use specific reasons to support v. 2
Every person has a dream regarding where to stay in his lifetime. Some people prefer to dwell in great cities while others choose small town areas. In my opinion living in big cities are more preferable. this is due to the fact that big cities have modern facilities for living, better employment opportunities and good schools for children. First of all cities provide countless ways of commuting. There are excellent transportation system established in cities. This has made transportation fast and easy and people can travel anywhere and everywhere. For example, the bullet train, local tram service and cheap taxi service has enabled people living in cities a comfortable life without any difficulties. Additionally, common man can buy any vehicle and ride through the roadways which makes it easier for him to reach his destination. Hence, the advanced transportation services has made cities an attractive place to live. Secondly, cities offer exciting job opportunities which draws people. It is mostly in the cities the big establishments grow due to the modern facilities available. As a result many educated graduates would get employment which makes them eventually a resident of big cities. For instance San Francisco being a big city has several multinational companies related to all the field. Likewise, people who needs job with high salary would be drawn to stay in cities. This will further enhance the growth of cities inhabiting many people and serving them. Finally, when more people come to cities there would be schools emerging. Soon children will attend to best schools in cities. Likewise, as the life is advancing the level of education would also be of high standards. What’s more schools with best staff and performance will be highly competent for the admitting students. This makes cities even more alluring due to the best known education existing. To conclude, cities provide better employment offers and facilities for life to be easy. Similarly, the schools providing knowledge are also of best standards making cities highly attractive for people than small town.
Every person has a dream regarding where to stay in his lifetime.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to dwell in great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
while others choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town areas. In my opinion living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are more preferable.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have modern facilities for living, better employment opportunities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for children.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide countless ways of commuting. There are excellent transportation system established in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This has made transportation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and easy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can travel anywhere and everywhere.
For example
, the bullet train, local tram service and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
taxi service has enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
a comfortable life without any difficulties.
Additionally
, common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any vehicle and ride through the roadways which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for him to reach his destination.
Hence
, the advanced transportation services has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
an attractive place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
offer exciting job opportunities which draws
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is
mostly
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
establishments grow due to the modern facilities available.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educated graduates would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
eventually
a resident of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
San Francisco being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city has several multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
related to all the field.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "need"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
needs
job with high salary would
be drawn
to stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This will
further
enhance the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
inhabiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and serving them.

Finally
, when more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
there would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
emerging.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Soon
children will attend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Likewise
, as the life is advancing the level of education would
also
be of high standards. What’s more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
staff and performance will be
highly
competent for the admitting students. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
even more alluring due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
known education existing.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide better employment offers and facilities for life to be easy.
Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
providing knowledge are
also
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
standards making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
highly
attractive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people really like living in a big city some others prefer living in small town. which do you like better? use specific reasons to support v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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