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Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? v.1

Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? v. 1
In the modern world, fulfilling people's needs has become an expensive process. The best way to earn enough money for living is to open your own business. In my point of view, it is much better to be an entrepreneur rather than to follow someone’s commands and rules. This essay will discuss why to run your own business is better. The first thing to be considering is the fact that with your own company to manage time is much easier because businesspersons have a more flexible timetable than employee. That is why they do not need to attend a workplace daily, while workers have strict office hours. Moreover, people with own business can work at home or during the trip. As a result, business people have more free time to spend it with family and friends. The second reason why running your own business is better is to be a boss for yourself. What I mean by this is that not every people can put up with pressure from employers due to his or her temperament. Because of it, the majority of people are trying to open a business. However, establishing the company is not an easy process, because there is no guarantee that your business will succeed. In conclusion, I believe that to earn money based on your own company is better than to work with someone else. That is why the large quantity of population is running a business, but it is also a big risk to be in failure and gain nothing.
In the modern world, fulfilling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's needs has become an expensive process. The best way to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for living is to open your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. In my point of view, it is much better to be an entrepreneur
rather
than to follow someone’s commands and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. This essay will discuss why to run your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is better.

The
first
thing to be considering is the fact that with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to manage time is much easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
businesspersons have a more flexible timetable than employee.
That is
why they do not need to attend a workplace daily, while workers have strict office hours.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can work at home or during the trip.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more free time to spend it with family and friends.

The second reason why running your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is better is to be a boss for yourself. What I mean by this is that not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can put up with pressure from employers due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
temperament.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of it, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trying to open a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
However
, establishing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is not an easy process,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no guarantee that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will succeed.

In conclusion
, I believe that to earn money based on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is better than to work with someone else.
That is
why the large quantity of population is running a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to be in failure and gain nothing.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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