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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v.6

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 6
Reading is one of the major aspect of language at the initial phase of the upbringing of a child. However, I disagree with the topic, where it shows reading as a lesser interesting activity. I believe that there should be a perfect blend of each and every activity for the overall development of the kid, where he/she should able to have social skills, creativity, healthy mind & body, ability to read & write along with a pleasing and strong personality. A kid can also have better creativity and imagination by reading books and still enjoy it. Rejecting reading as boring and less creative does not justify the role of it. For example, children across the world, love the famous books of ‘Harry Potter’ which helped them to explore their creative & imaginative side. Reading is one of the social skill in this competitive world to excel in order to have confidence and get appreciation. Other enjoyable activities may help the child to speak up, but reading helps them with ‘what to speak’ & ‘how to speak’ abilities. Basically, it polishes the social skills, creativity and imagination of the child. Children would not like to eat certain foods, but, parents feed them against the wishes of child to give full nutrition. Similarly, they have to give the mixture of every activity to help the child to grow mentally and physically strong. At the end, I would like to conclude with a point that there is no activity which is boring unless it is forced upon others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
is one of the major aspect of language at the initial phase of the upbringing of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
However
, I disagree with the topic, where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
as a lesser interesting activity.

I believe that there should be a perfect blend of each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for the
overall
development of the kid, where he/she
Did you mean "should be able"?
should able
to have social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, creativity, healthy mind & body, ability to read & write along with a pleasing and strong personality.

A kid can
also
have better creativity and imagination by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books and
still
enjoy it. Rejecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
as boring and less creative does not justify the role of it.
For example
, children across the world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
books of ‘Harry Potter’ which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them to explore their creative & imaginative side.

Reading is one of the social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in this competitive world to excel in order to have confidence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
appreciation. Other enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to speak up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them with ‘what to speak’ & ‘how to speak’ abilities.
Basically
, it polishes the social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, creativity and imagination of the child.

Children would not like to eat certain foods,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, parents feed them against the wishes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to give full nutrition.
Similarly
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give the mixture of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to grow mentally and
physically
strong.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I would like
to conclude
with a point that there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
which is boring unless it
is forced
upon others.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 6

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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