Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some People prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life, and others prefer to change their jobs from time to timeDiscuss both sides and state your own opinion. v.2

Some People prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life, and others prefer to change their jobs from time to time v. 2
Having a constant occupation or changeable works has always been questionable for most of the people. As far as people try to gain their interesting field of works, many people even by having a appropriate job still thinking to change their jobs in order to achieve something better. In my opinion, staying in a job in long-term period can be boring. Moreover insisting on a one field of work can make you a one-dimensional person. While group of people assume that changing jobs is not a good idea because of some reasons, other group of people believe that people who change their occupations are more flexible in their life and they are actually more talented. They mention two essential reasons; the first primary reason is that staying on frequent works can lead to adaptation which is problematic for our minds. In addition they say, It is quite common by maintaining your work, people decrease their ability to make a new life. It means, it can go down bravery of people to encounter with new risks. Against the contrary beliefs of some group of people, the other group of people illustrate the other reasons which show their interests for having a stable job. They impediment reason which they mention is that, they think by staying in a frequent jobs people can head up to a successful way which shows there capacity of passing harsh and good times same together. In addition, they think stable jobs can be prepared new opportunities in a company or organizations which they are working there. Although, without high trying and obtaining goals and also more chances is not possible to improve the level of works, but by using experiences people can lead to their further goals. To conclude, I’m strongly believe that people can change the quality of their life by changing their attributes about their jobs and work places. Without risks nothing can change the people’s future.
Having a constant occupation or changeable works has always been questionable for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As far as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to gain their interesting field of works,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even by having
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
still
thinking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in order to achieve something better. In my opinion, staying in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in long-term period can be boring.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
insisting on a one field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you a one-dimensional person.

While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their occupations are more flexible in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they are actually more talented. They mention two essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
; the
first
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that staying on frequent works can lead to adaptation which is problematic for our minds. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, they".
addition they
say, It is quite common by maintaining your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decrease their ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new life. It means, it can go down bravery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to encounter with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

Against the contrary beliefs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
illustrate the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
The usual collocation for "interests" is "in" not "for". Did you mean "interests in"?
interests for
having a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'They'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
They impediment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which they mention is that, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by staying in a frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can head up to a successful way which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
there capacity of passing harsh and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
times same together.
In addition
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can
be prepared
new opportunities in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or organizations which they are working there. Although, without high trying and obtaining goals and
also
more chances is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the level of works,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by using experiences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can lead to their
further
goals.

To conclude
, I’m
strongly
Consider using a past participle here: "believed".
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the quality of their life by changing their attributes about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places. Without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
nothing can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
future.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some People prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life, and others prefer to change their jobs from time to time v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts