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Some People prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life, and others prefer to change their jobs from time to timeDiscuss both sides and state your own opinion. v.1

Some People prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life, and others prefer to change their jobs from time to time v. 1
Work and Travel are two essential experiences in human life. In a few regions of the world, youngsters are suggested to explore different areas or have professional experience after secondary education and before joining tertiary education. This essay will analyse, both benefits and limitations pertaining to this notion. Firstly, primary advantages that students can gain at this phase due to work or travel are, being responsible and learning Time and money management. Children can gain abundant knowledge due to practical work and thereby, are groomed to be more accountable. For Instance, In Japan, students are placed in various kinds of work before they enter higher studies so that they become wiser at early stages of life. Furthermore, they build aspects such as finance and Time management which are essential factors to lead a great life. To illustrate, it is reported by the Economic Times that per capita income of a region in Australia is very high as individuals have been provided an opportunity to earn at an early age, which resulted in making them realizing the value of these aspects and thereby they are disciplined while they spend Time and Money. Overall, there are marvellous benefits associated when one is encouraged to earn or travel at a younger age. On the other hand, this can be detrimental as it comprises chances to hinder one’s professional growth. If individuals lack self-control, and are attracted to earning money they may lack academic concentration and as a result may suffer from fetching poor grades. Another primary limitation is, this may encourage students to discontinue their education and probably they may compromise on a potential opportunity which was awaiting after their higher studies. Hence, there are threats to professional and personal growth if students are allowed to travel or work before they complete education. In conclusion, this essay discussed both advantages and disadvantages of opting to work or travelling to new places before pursuing higher studies. While the benefits are overwhelming, there are also adverse ramifications associated with this ideology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travel
are two essential experiences in human life. In a few regions of the world, youngsters
are suggested
to explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas or have professional experience after secondary education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
joining tertiary education. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
, both benefits and limitations pertaining to this notion.

Firstly
, primary advantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can gain at this phase due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
are, being responsible and learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
and money management. Children can gain abundant knowledge due to practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and thereby,
are groomed
to be more accountable.
For Instance
, In Japan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are placed
in various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
they enter higher studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they become wiser at early stages of life.
Furthermore
, they build aspects such as finance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
management which are essential factors to lead a great life. To illustrate, it
is reported
by the Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
that per capita income of a region in Australia is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high as individuals have
been provided
an opportunity to earn at an early age, which resulted in making them realizing the value of these aspects and thereby they
are disciplined
while they spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
and Money.
Overall
, there are
Possible spelling mistake. 'marvellous' is British English.
marvellous
benefits associated when one
is encouraged
to earn or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
at a younger age.

On the other hand
, this can be detrimental as it comprises chances to hinder one’s professional growth. If individuals lack self-control, and
are attracted
to earning money they may lack academic concentration and
as a result
may suffer from fetching poor grades. Another primary limitation is, this may encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to discontinue their education and
probably
they may compromise on a potential opportunity which was awaiting after their higher studies.
Hence
, there are threats to professional and personal growth if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
they complete education.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed both advantages and disadvantages of opting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or travelling to new places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
pursuing higher studies. While the benefits are overwhelming, there are
also
adverse ramifications associated with this ideology.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Some People prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life, and others prefer to change their jobs from time to time v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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