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In many countries, TV programmes are available 24 hours a day. Some people believe this has a positive outcome for people while others say the effect is negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

In many countries, TV programmes are available 24 hours a day. Some people believe this has a positive outcome for people while others say the effect is negative. v. 1
There are several people in many countries who believe that programmes on TV that run all day has a positive result whereas others think that the outcome is negative. While there could be benefits from TV availability 24 hours a day, there are also possible drawbacks that could be derived. In my opinion, news channels and some entertainment shows should be readily available any time of the day; however, it should not be indulged by children. Throughout the era of television, it has been of so much help to the viewers. There are many uses that TV has to offer when top channels are ready to view. The fundamental one is about news, wherein there are a lot of information that people have to know locally and internationally, especially during climate and weather updates. Due to the time difference, many countries are eager to know what is going on. For example, a typhoon has affected one particular country and there is a possibility that it will travel to the nearest area, thus, news update in this critical time is desperately needed and crucial information must be disseminated to the people right away for preparation. Furthermore, there are nocturnal people that seek entertainment in the holy hours of the night or early morning. It would be beneficial if there are channels that stream from midnight to midday as many people have different sleeping patterns because of the nature of work. For some workers in the graveyard shift, perhaps a little ongoing show during breaks could kills the sleepiness and boredom. Finally, as there are shows that stream live such as global competitions in sports and pageants, the availability of television on that particular time is necessary due to the tons of supporters viewing all around the world. When Miss Universe 2018 Catriona Gray won the competition, her kin from Australia and Philippines cannot help but turn the TV on whatever the time that it showed. On the other hand, although there are many positive aspects from the availability of the TV all day, it should be controlled from the hands of the children as there are only certain time that kiddie shows are on air. Therefore, the positive outcome of the television being available 24 hours outweigh the few negative results.
There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries who believe that
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
on TV that run all day has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the outcome is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. While there could be benefits from TV availability 24 hours a day, there are
also
possible drawbacks that could
be derived
. In my opinion, news channels and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
should be
readily
available any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the day;
however
, it should not
be indulged
by children.

Throughout the era of television, it has been of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the viewers. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
that TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer when top channels are ready to view. The fundamental one is about news, wherein there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know
locally
and
internationally
,
especially
during climate and weather updates. Due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
difference,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are eager to know what is going on.
For example
, a typhoon has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
one particular country and there is a possibility that it will travel to the nearest area,
thus
, news update in this critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
desperately
needed and crucial information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be disseminated
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
right away for preparation.

Furthermore
, there are nocturnal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that seek entertainment in the holy hours of the night or early morning. It would be beneficial if there are channels that stream from midnight to midday as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sleeping patterns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the nature of work. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workers in the graveyard shift, perhaps a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ongoing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
during breaks could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "kill"
kills
the sleepiness and boredom.

Finally
, as there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that stream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
such as global competitions in sports and pageants, the availability of television on that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is necessary due to the tons of supporters viewing all around the world. When Miss Universe 2018
Possible spelling mistake found.
Catriona
Gray won the competition, her kin from Australia and Philippines cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
turn the TV on whatever the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
.

On the other hand
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects from the availability of the TV all day, it should
be controlled
from the hands of the children as there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that kiddie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are on air.

Therefore
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome of the television being available 24 hours outweigh the few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay In many countries, TV programmes are available 24 hours a day. Some people believe this has a positive outcome for people while others say the effect is negative. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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