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Some prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life and others prefer to change their jobs from time to time. Discuss both sides and state your opinion. v.1

Some prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life and others prefer to change their jobs from time to time. v. 1
The 21st century deserves a shout out for allowing the feasibility in the type of work people chose to do. Although some people do not prefer any modifications to their job profile, others traverse through the path of change. While my instinct compels me to agree with the latter notion, both these arguments will be thoroughly analysed. On the one hand, it is evident that few professionals are not excited at the thought of taking up new career opportunities due to multifarious factors revolving around job security. To explicate this further, some work force who are overly stressed with a phobia of losing the job, turns a blind eye on new job offers as the new job profile posses various uncovered mysteries which equally challenges the person's ability to perform and succeed in the new workplace. Consequently, it lucidly possesses a risk of losing the job in the case of any under-rated performances. On the other hand, some enthusiastic work explorers always watch out for new postings, keeping in the mind the global exposure it enables. Furthermore, with significant multinational firms out-breaking all over the world, the job portals are flourished with numerous jobs, giving a wide variety for an individual to choose from, thereby, enhancing their skills further as each company is unique in their implementation. As a result, these work changes allow a person to implant himself in the most commanding role in the long run, and I agree with this view. In conclusion, having considered the aforementioned reasons on the both sides of the arguments, a certain section of workforce projects themselves as an introvert keeping with their existing profile due to the concerns of job security, whereas others, has a lust to succeed by travelling through the path of rapid modifications, which according to me is a base for a striking career.
The 21st century deserves a shout out for allowing the feasibility in the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
chose to do. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not prefer any modifications to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
profile, others traverse through the path of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. While my instinct compels me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter notion, both these arguments will be
thoroughly
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
.

On the one hand, it is evident that few professionals are not excited at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of taking up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
career opportunities due to multifarious factors revolving around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security. To explicate this
further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
force who are
overly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
with a phobia of losing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, turns a blind eye on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offers as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
profile posses various uncovered mysteries which
equally
challenges the person's ability to perform and succeed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
workplace.
Consequently
, it
lucidly
possesses a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of losing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the case of any under-rated performances.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
enthusiastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
explorers always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
out for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
postings, keeping in the mind the global exposure it enables.
Furthermore
, with significant multinational firms out-breaking all over the world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
portals
are flourished
with numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, giving a wide variety for an individual to choose from, thereby, enhancing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
further
as each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is unique in their implementation.
As a result
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a person to implant himself in the most commanding role in the long run, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

In conclusion
, having considered the aforementioned reasons on the both sides of the arguments, a certain section of workforce projects themselves as an introvert keeping with their existing profile due to the concerns of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security, whereas others, has a lust to succeed by travelling through the path of rapid modifications, which according to me is a base for a striking career.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life and others prefer to change their jobs from time to time. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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