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Some people prefer to stay in the same job in their whole life while others want to change their careers. Discuss both sideswith your own opinion. v.2

Some people prefer to stay in the same job in their whole life while others want to change their careers. v. 2
Job means when employees do work under the employer. Presently, few masses assert that similar job plays a paramount role to live better life. By contrast, others adore to transfer their job as it is said that " change is the spice of life" . Here, i would like to account for both sides with my own perception. There are manifold points to support the former view. First and foremost, same job provides us experience regarding work. To give a specific example, they can secure their recruitment for long time in companies, industries and so on while joining it. Apart from it, it allows a great deal of sociable. To justify, they can communicate with clients, customers and many more by meeting with them. Thence, they might make mutual understanding, good adjustment and show their good identification in their community. On this contrary, numerous points can be mentioned to shore up latter view. Initially, some people prefer to change their work as they ponder that such jobs broaden the horizon of knowledge of different works. To illustrate, they can gain knowledge from various fields like organizations, farming and banks during working hours. Hence, they may increase the aura of their knowledge to get good job which helps to uplift their living standard. From my notion, both aspects have their own significance. Undeniably, most of individual acknowledged that to stay in same work is lucrative for their whole life. However, we cannot underestimate the importance of different jobs. It is an advisable that one must choose single work in his or her life, they may become expert, vetran that provide comfortable life. Finally, it is universally accepted that with the help of single job they can give sparkling performance to employer of the firm. Therefore, they should get same job. They might live life with benevolent.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
means when employees do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under the employer.
Presently
, few masses assert that similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
plays a paramount role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. By contrast, others adore to transfer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as it
is said
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the spice of
Possible spelling mistake found.
life&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Here,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to account for both sides with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception.

There are manifold points to support the former view.
First
and foremost, same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
provides us experience regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. To give a specific example, they can secure their recruitment for long time in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, industries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on while joining it. Apart from it, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
a great deal of sociable. To justify, they can communicate with clients,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
customers


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more by meeting with them. Thence, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mutual understanding,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
adjustment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
identification in their community.

On this contrary, numerous points can
be mentioned
to shore up latter view.
Initially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as they ponder that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
broaden the horizon of knowledge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
works. To illustrate, they can
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
gain


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
knowledge
from various fields like organizations, farming and banks during working hours.
Hence
, they may increase the aura of their knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to uplift their living standard.

From my notion, both aspects have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance.
Undeniably
,
Consider using "most individual" or "most of the individual".
most of individual
acknowledged that to stay in same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is lucrative for their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, we cannot underestimate the importance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. It is an advisable that one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they may become expert,
Possible spelling mistake found.
vetran
that provide comfortable life.

Finally
, it is
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they can give sparkling performance to employer of the firm.
Therefore
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. They might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with benevolent.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to stay in the same job in their whole life while others want to change their careers. v. 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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