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The cost of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries? v.3

The cost of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries? v. 3
Tourism plays a phenomenal role to entertain the people. Presently, the trend of tourism is gaining prevalence all over the world. Here, i would like to account for both merits and demerits of increasing tourism with my own perception. There are manifold benefits of tourism. First and foremost, masses can get knowledge. For instance, individual visit various places such as historical, hillstation and recreational where they may meet with different culture people and communicate with them. As a result, they would become curious to gain knowledge and be aware. As it is said that " knowledge is invaluable power" . Apart from it, state might take advantage of tourism. To give a specific example, it can collect money from tourists who visit different kinds of places, it may construct many infrastructures as museums, library and monuments. Thus, it will have good impact on the economic growth of the nation. On the other hand, numerous points can be mentioned to shore up the cons of inclining phenomena of tourism. Some masses reckon that tourism spreads many types of pollution as air, noise pollution and so on. In this context, tourists travel by various vehicle from one place to another place. Pollution is a major concern in front of society. Hence, people might become the victim of many ailments such as hearing impairment, respiratory problem and asthma. From my notion, both aspects have their own significance. Few individuals acknowledged that growing tourism has plentiful advantages. However, it is advisable for government to promote the tourism. To recapitulate, it is universally accepted that tourism has more pros than cons. I opine, state and people should shake hands together to enrich it. As, it is best to nurture of every country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
plays a phenomenal role to entertain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Presently
, the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is gaining prevalence all over the world. Here,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to account for both merits and demerits of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception.

There are manifold benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
First
and foremost, masses can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge.
For instance
, individual visit various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as historical,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hillstation
and recreational where they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and communicate with them.
As a result
, they would become curious to gain knowledge and be aware. As it
is said
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; knowledge is invaluable
Possible spelling mistake found.
power&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Apart from it, state might take advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. To give a specific example, it can collect money from tourists who visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, it may construct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
infrastructures as museums, library and monuments.
Thus
, it will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on the economic growth of the nation.

On the other hand
, numerous points can
be mentioned
to shore up the cons of inclining phenomena of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
masses reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
spreads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of pollution as air, noise pollution and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In this context, tourists travel by various vehicle from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Pollution is a major concern in front of society.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might become the victim of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ailments such as hearing impairment, respiratory problem

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
asthma.

From my notion, both aspects have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance. Few individuals acknowledged that growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has plentiful advantages.
However
, it is advisable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to promote the tourism.

To recapitulate, it is
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has more pros than cons. I opine, state and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should shake hands together to enrich it.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, it is best to nurture of every country.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The cost of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries? v. 3

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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