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In many countries nowadays young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages and disadvantages? v.11

In many countries nowadays young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages and disadvantages? v. 11
Lifestyle has undergone dramatic changes over a couple of decades. Presently, the phenomena of single youth prefer to live alone until they get married. Here, i would like to account for merits and demerits of this trend. There are manifold benefits of such phenomena. First and foremost, this trend helps to young people to make self-depend. To give a specific example, they do not live under the shelter of their guidance after marriage which make learn them various responsibilities such as to earn money for their children and run their home. Apart from this, they might learn the importance of money. For instance, youngsters can earn money by doing work or job. As a result, this phenomena allows to make their bright future. Last but not least, it enables them to make sociable. To illustrate, while doing work can meet with their colleagues, friends and so on. Thence, they may make better mutual understanding, adjustment with each other and they become good social character. On the other hand, it is acknowledged that this trend has certain cons. Firstly it provides myriad controversions to the young people. For example, sometimes they try to show-off in front of society, they are not able to live stay away from their parents but they survive that offers various kinds of hazards, they do not fulfill their requirements like food shelter and clothe. Hence, they might spoil their life. From my notion, both aspects have their own significance. Few masses assert that it has many pros whole others ponder that it has mammoth of cons. However, it is an advisable that youth must live away from their parents to enhance their confidence regarding life. Finnaly, it is universally accepted that it has more advantages than disadvantages. People should encourage youngsters to stay isolate. In this way, youth could live life with happiness.
Lifestyle has undergone dramatic
changes
over a couple of decades.
Presently
, the phenomena of single youth prefer to
live
alone until they
get
married. Here,
i
would like to account for merits and demerits of this trend.

There are manifold benefits of such phenomena.
First
and foremost, this trend
helps
to young
people
to
make
self-depend.

To give a specific example, they do not
live
under the shelter of their guidance after marriage which
make
learn them various responsibilities such as to earn money for their children and run their home. Apart from this, they might learn the importance of money.
For instance
, youngsters can earn money by doing work or job.
As a result
,
this
phenomena
allows
to


make
their bright future. Last
but
not least, it enables them to
make
sociable. To illustrate, while doing work can
meet
with


their
colleagues, friends and
so
on. Thence, they may
make
better mutual understanding, adjustment with each other and

they
become
good
social character.

On the other hand
, it
is acknowledged
that this trend has certain cons.
Firstly
it provides myriad
controversions
to the young
people
.
For example
,
sometimes
they try to
show
-off in front of society, they are not able to
live
stay away from their parents
but
they survive that offers various kinds of hazards, they do not fulfill their requirements like food shelter and clothe.
Hence
, they might spoil their life.

From my notion, both aspects have their
own
significance. Few masses assert that it has
many
pros whole others ponder that it has mammoth of cons.
However
, it is an advisable that youth
must
live
away from their parents to enhance their

confidence
regarding life.

Finnaly
, it is
universally
accepted
that it has more advantages than disadvantages.
People
should encourage youngsters to stay isolate. In this way, youth could
live
life with happiness.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries nowadays young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages and disadvantages? v. 11

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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