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Some people prefer to stay in the same job in their whole life while others want to change their careers. Discuss both sideswith your own opinion. v.1

Some people prefer to stay in the same job in their whole life while others want to change their careers. v. 1
Nowadays, customers consume meals that have transferred thousands of miles away from their producers. Whereas some people assume that it will be great for the environment and economy if people only consume locally produced food. There are benefits and drawbacks to this issue which I will explain in this essay. One evident positive side to transporting item over a long distance is it would enable increasing the interests of customers by providing options of product variety. For instance, people can range fruits or vegetables which infrequently produced in their country, such as date palm is one fruit that comes from Saudi Arabia, which commonly preferred and bought in a fasting month even though rarely found in Indonesia. Furthermore, the other benefit is several people could obtain employment. In particular, the farmers have a prospect to expand globally their production and it leads to building a great overall economy by promoting good relations with countries, which helps international partnership and unity. On the other hand, there are obvious disadvantages to importing meals. Firstly, imported foods are would able more popular than own local production. However, abundant people claim it has a good impact on economic development, paradoxically present the tight competition in which local businesses which offer more affordable products than imported. Therefore, this condition heads to any detrimental of regional enterprises. Secondly, the major excuse to overcome imports is the environmental cost. Currently, various food imports such as vegetables are transported thousands of miles, composing the product more expensive to purchase and raising pollution from exhausted fumes. In summary, there are plus points to importing food that would produce great economic growth by drawing the interest people through offers multiple product options. However, maintaining local products should be prioritized to defend the existing regional business and conserve a healthy environment.
Nowadays, customers consume meals that have transferred thousands of miles away from their producers. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that it will be great for the environment and economy if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consume
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. There are benefits and drawbacks to this issue which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in this essay.

One evident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side to transporting item over a long distance is it would enable increasing the interests of customers by providing options of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
variety.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can range fruits or vegetables which
infrequently
produced in their country, such as date palm is one fruit that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from Saudi Arabia, which
commonly
preferred and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
in a fasting month
even though
rarely found in Indonesia.
Furthermore
, the other benefit is several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could obtain employment.
In particular
, the farmers have a prospect to expand globally their production and it leads to building a great
overall
economy by promoting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relations with countries, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
international partnership and unity.

On the other hand
, there are obvious disadvantages to importing meals.
Firstly
, imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are
Did you mean "would be able"?
would able
more popular than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
local production.
However
, abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim it has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on economic development,
paradoxically
present the tight competition in which local businesses which offer more affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
than imported.
Therefore
, this condition heads to any detrimental of regional enterprises.
Secondly
, the major excuse to overcome imports is the environmental cost.
Currently
, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
imports such as vegetables
are transported
thousands of miles, composing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
more expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and raising pollution from exhausted fumes.

In summary, there are plus points to importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that would produce great economic growth by drawing the interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through offers multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
options.
However
, maintaining local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should
be prioritized
to defend the existing regional business and conserve a healthy environment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to stay in the same job in their whole life while others want to change their careers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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