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In many countries, people are influenced by technology they use social sites. What are the advantages and disadvantagesof social sites? v.2

In many countries, people are influenced by technology they use social sites. What are the advantages and disadvantagesof social sites? v. 2
Lifestyle has been changed entirely since technology has spreaded its roots in this modern society. presently, the trend of using social sites is gaining prevalence all over the world. Here, i would like to account for both merits and demerits of social sites. There are manifold benefits of such sites. First and foremost, these sites allow a great deal of communication. To give a specific example, masses use various sites such as facebook, whatsapp and twitter which help them to communicate with their friends and relatives. Consequently, they might make strong bonding with each other. Apart from it, social sites provide amusement. To illustrate, individual can share their photos, videos and many more on it. As a result, they may make good relationships with their near one or dear one. Last but not least, it also helps to provide general knowledge. For instance, people come to know about different masses who belong to distinct culture like Canadian, American and so on. Thence, they can enhance the horizon of their knowledge. As it is said that " Knowledge is invaluable power" . On the other hand, it has certain disadvantages. Firstly, social sites enable to create cyber crime. For example, when criminals use it for many purposes as robbery, explosion and escaping from prison that enrich the crime. Hence, culprit can increase which is a major concern in front of society. From my notion, both aspects have own significance. few individual ponder that it has myriad that is an pros while others acknowledged that it has various cons. However, it is an advisable for people can become tech-savvy which is helpful for them to gain knowledge. Finally, it is universally accepted that it has more advantages than disadvantages. People must use it. As, may live keep i touch globally.
Lifestyle has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
entirely
since technology has
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "spread", the past tense form of the verb 'spread'?
spreaded
its roots in this modern society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
presently
, the trend

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
using social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
is gaining prevalence all over the world. Here,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to account for both merits and demerits of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
social
sites.

There are manifold benefits of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
First
and foremost, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a great deal of communication. To give a specific example, masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
and twitter which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to communicate with their friends and relatives.
Consequently
, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strong bonding with each other. Apart from it, social
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sites


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
provide
amusement. To illustrate, individual can share their photos, videos and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more on it.
As a result
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships with their near one or dear one. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to provide general knowledge.

For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
masses who belong to distinct culture like Canadian, American and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Thence, they can enhance the horizon of their knowledge. As it
is said
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; Knowledge is invaluable
Possible spelling mistake found.
power&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


On the other hand
, it has certain disadvantages.
Firstly
, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
enable to create cyber crime.
For example
, when criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes as robbery, explosion and escaping from prison that enrich the crime.
Hence
, culprit can increase which is a major concern in front of society.

From my notion, both aspects have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
few
individual ponder that it has myriad
that is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
pros while others acknowledged that it has various cons.
However
, it is an advisable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can become tech-savvy which is helpful for them to gain knowledge.

Finally
, it is
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that it has more advantages than disadvantages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
touch globally.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, people are influenced by technology they use social sites. What are the advantages and disadvantagesof social sites? v. 2

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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