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Many parents are concerned about the violent computer games or movies or leisure activities. How can this impact children? What can be done to solve this problem? . v.1

Many parents are concerned about the violent computer games or movies or leisure activities. How can this impact children? What can be done to solve this problem? . v. 1
As the famous saying goes “The young and the reckless! ” Children today are evolving at a faster pace than earlier times. With the onset of new evolving trends among peers and following bad habits, children look out for ways to entertain themselves, which at times causes a great deal of concern for their parents. Seeking proper guidance and having access to recreation within communities can have a positive impact on children. Peer pressure and bad habits can taint young minds. The reason being that children are explorers, always keen to try out new things without rationalizing the consequences. For example ‘MOMO’ is an online violent game which has claimed many lives of innocent children. Parents feel compelled to monitor their child’s online and social activities. Counseling with proper guidance and learning new skills through recreational activities can help shape their minds and nurture a positive outlook towards life. It is often noticed that children who tend to have proper guidance are able to have a good sense of judgement and decision making skills. For instance, joining a hobby or sports class can help train the mind to focus more on their overall personality development. It is natural for parents to be concerned about their child’s wellbeing and keep them at bay from violent computer games, movies or harmful leisure activities. Hence, avoiding bad habits and negative peer pressure is essential by focusing on proper guidance as well as learning new skills through recreational activities, will give them a sense of being responsible for taking critical decisions in life
As the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
saying goes “The young and the reckless! ”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are evolving at a faster pace than earlier times. With the onset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
evolving trends among peers and following
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
look out for ways to entertain themselves, which at times causes a great deal of concern for their parents. Seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
and having access to recreation within communities can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on children.

Peer pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits can taint young minds. The reason being that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are explorers, always keen to try out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things without rationalizing the consequences.
For example
‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
MOMO
’ is an online violent game which has claimed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Parents feel compelled to monitor their child’s online and social activities.

Counseling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
and learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through recreational activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
shape their minds and nurture a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outlook towards life. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
noticed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who tend to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
are able to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sense of judgement and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, joining a hobby or sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
train the mind to focus more on their
overall
personality development.

It is natural for parents to
be concerned
about their child’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them at bay from violent computer games, movies or harmful leisure activities.
Hence
, avoiding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
peer pressure is essential by focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
as well
as learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through recreational activities, will give them a sense of being responsible for taking critical decisions in life
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Many parents are concerned about the violent computer games or movies or leisure activities. How can this impact children? What can be done to solve this problem? . v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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