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Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. Others however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. Others however, think that change is always a good thing. v. 1
Most of the people prefer sticking to the daily routine where as others always push their boundaries to change the status quo as they believe that the change would bring more benefits. In my opinion, I certainly agree to step outside of the comfort zone, and try new things. Beyond doubt, there are several compelling reasons why some people dare not try new things and instead, fear embracing the change. Firstly, they see an intrinsic value in doing that. In other words, they have a lifelong passion for what they do every day. To quote an instance, a naval officer is happy with his job despite little earnings. What he wishes from his job is the level of satisfaction and recognition. Secondly, others may fear the uncertainty that prevents them from trying new things. For example, a father with infinite family responsibilities may become risk averse because even if he gets convinced to change, he would fear if he receives the same amount of earnings and satisfaction that he got in the previous job. Such human psyche itself speaks of why people embrace repetition. There is a school of thought that believes change is imperative. They believe that trying new things could bring exciting experience and kill boredom and a sense of complacency. For example, we would not have known much about other planets if astronauts were not sent into the outer space. Additionally, it is believed that making a change in life fortifies talent or characteristics. It simply allows people to move past their limiting beliefs. It is therefore essential that the boundaries and assumptions must be pushed and tested. A sprinter would not know how fast he is until he participates in the competition. In conclusion, I second my outlook of embracing a change rather than fearing it despite legitimate reasons.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer sticking to the daily routine
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
others always push their boundaries to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the status quo as they believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
would bring more benefits. In my opinion, I
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to step
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the comfort zone, and try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things. Beyond doubt, there are several compelling reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dare not try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and
instead
, fear embracing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
Firstly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an intrinsic value in doing that. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they have a lifelong passion for what they do every day. To quote an instance, a naval officer is happy with his job despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
earnings. What he wishes from his job is the level of satisfaction and recognition.
Secondly
, others may fear the uncertainty that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
For example
, a father with infinite family responsibilities may become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
averse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
even if he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
convinced to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, he would fear if he receives the same amount of earnings and satisfaction that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
in the previous job. Such human psyche itself speaks of why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
embrace repetition. There is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that believes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is imperative. They believe that trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things could bring exciting experience and kill boredom and a sense of complacency.
For example
, we would not have known much about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
planets if astronauts were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
into the outer space.
Additionally
, it
is believed
that making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in life fortifies talent or characteristics. It
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
past their limiting beliefs. It is
therefore
essential that the boundaries and assumptions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be pushed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
. A sprinter would not know how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
he is until he participates in the competition.
In conclusion
, I second my outlook of embracing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
rather
than fearing it despite legitimate reasons.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. Others however, think that change is always a good thing. v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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