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some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion. v.1

some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion. v. 1
From my understanding of the situation, it might reflect negative impact on family relations between the child and parents when parents send them to boarding schools in early age. At the same time there are a few advantages, but in comparative disadvantages are quite a few. Firstly, my argument is towards the kids who away from home. In an observation the children who are studying in hostels are much more independent than residential school students and their nature also rapid in accepting challenges all these experiences they got from their tenure concurrently they might feel alone and a few times it may lead to dullness and this can lead to a bad situation, I do accept it could happen rarely even though it's a major concern. Secondly, my thoughts about the children who complete their schooling from home. In this scenario parents focus mostly on the child only and the bonding between them would become strong, moreover, they completely monitor their kids and they provide the guidance to avoid their mistakes in a soft way with love and affection. I strongly believe this would be a lack of children who are in boarding schools. The other side of the coin, the children became more dependent when they are within the family and they didn't get many opportunities to handle the situations and challenges by their own although it could give an impact in their future. In conclusion, the children who are away from their parents could be strong enough to handle the things and challenges in a better way, by contrast, they may miss a great love and affection from family, at the same time the kids who completed the studies with family will enjoy their childhood better.
From my understanding of the situation, it might reflect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relations between the child and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to boarding schools in early age. At the same time there are a few advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in comparative disadvantages are quite a few.

Firstly
, my argument is towards the kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
away from home. In an observation the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are studying in hostels are much more independent than residential school students and their nature
also
rapid in accepting challenges all these experiences they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from their tenure
concurrently
they might feel alone and a few times it may lead to dullness and this can lead to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation, I do accept it could happen rarely
even though
it's a major concern.

Secondly
, my thoughts about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
complete their schooling from home. In this scenario
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
focus
mostly
on the child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and the bonding between them would become strong,
moreover
, they completely monitor their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kids and
they provide the guidance to avoid their mistakes
Consider replacing "in a soft way" with the adverb for "soft"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a soft way
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection. I
strongly
believe this would be a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in boarding schools. The other side of the coin, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
became more dependent when they are within the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to handle the situations and challenges by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
although it could give an impact in their future.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could be strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to handle the things and challenges in a better way, by contrast, they may miss a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, at the same time the kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
completed the studies with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will enjoy their childhood better.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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