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some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other peoples prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside or to be inside for leisure activites? v.4

some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other peoples prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside or to be inside for leisure activites? v. 4
Generally speaking, weather tends to determine if I wil go outside stay indoor in my free time. If it is raining or very cold, I typically prefer to sit on my sofa and read or go to kitchen and cook a nice meal. If it is warm or sunny, I can' t stand to be in my house, I want to go to outside and do something active. However, let' s imagine that weather isn' t a factor. In many cases, I would rather be outside to enjoy the street and my favorite hobby that walking around the Jakarta city with my own motorbike. In my opinion, nature and some of views in the street are truly unique on Earth. I can stand and stare at trees, architecture of house, some view of building in the street. With those, I feel completely independent as human. Buying something at Mall isn' t satisfying to me. I like to drive my vehicle, moreover I could to around the town wherever I go to someplace, I feel free since it is my own choices and I called it freedom. Another reason I prefer spending time outside is that driving purely outdoor activity was my favorite pasttime. When I sit on my bike, I imagine like queen in my own city. I can hear the transportation' s sounds, even though it is annoying in my ear. Driving bike is that natural medicine to reduce stress. In that you will be better and fresh again after that. You will forget your problems and have own world of course, the beauty of scenery attracts me to this. If the temperature in my urban area is always a comfortable 38 degrees and the climate was usually dry, I would not hesitate to say that I always prefer outdoor activities than indoor ones. The pretty scenery in the street, feel freedom while driving, and cut down the stress that would keep me constantly fresh. Unfortunately, I live in crowded place, which is full of people, traffic jam, and noise, futhermore I need more effort to do my hobby is that driving my bike.
Generally
speaking, weather tends to determine if I
Possible spelling mistake found.
wil
go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
stay indoor in my free time. If it is raining or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
, I
typically
prefer to sit on my sofa and read or go to kitchen and cook a nice meal. If it is warm or sunny, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t stand to be in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, I want to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
and do something active.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
let&
#039; s imagine that weather
Possible spelling mistake found.
isn&
#039; t a factor. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, I would
rather
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
and my favorite hobby that walking around the Jakarta city with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
motorbike.

In my opinion, nature and
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the views") or simply say "some views".
some of views
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
are
truly
unique on Earth. I can stand and stare at trees, architecture of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
view of building in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
. With those, I feel completely independent as human. Buying something at Mall
Possible spelling mistake found.
isn&
#039; t satisfying to me. I like to drive my vehicle,
moreover
I could to around the town wherever I go to someplace, I feel free since it is my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices and I called it freedom.

Another reason I prefer spending time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
purely
outdoor activity was my favorite
Possible spelling mistake found.
pasttime
. When I sit on my bike, I imagine like queen in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
city. I can hear the
Possible spelling mistake found.
transportation&
#039; s sounds,
even though
it is annoying in my ear.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Driving
bike is that natural medicine to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. In that you will be better and fresh again after that. You will forget your problems and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
world
of course
, the beauty of scenery attracts me to this.

If the temperature in my urban area is always a comfortable 38 degrees and the climate was
usually
dry, I would not hesitate to say that I always prefer outdoor activities than indoor ones. The pretty scenery in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
, feel freedom while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
me
constantly
fresh. Unfortunately, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in crowded place, which is full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, traffic jam, and noise,
Possible spelling mistake found.
futhermore
I need more effort to do my hobby is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
my bike.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other peoples prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside or to be inside for leisure activites? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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