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Some people prefer to shop for food in supermarkets. Other people prefer to do their food shopping online. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.6

Some people prefer to shop for food in supermarkets. Other people prefer to do their food shopping online. v. 6
While some people are of the opinion that purchasing food in the shops is more significant. However, others believe that it is more enjoyable to do the grocery shopping on the internet. In my point of view, I believe that it is a lot more significant to buy food online. In the next paragraphs, I will discuss both sides of this issue. First of all, it will increase the cooking inspiration. The reason for this is that you will come across several products, which will look delicious to prepare. For instance, most of the mothers are using this technique to come up with brand new meals to prepare for their family. All in all, it will make it a lot more predictable for the cook to invest in a certain type of fruit and vegetables. On the other hand, using the technology is quicker and money saving. This is because there is no time wasted, neither wealth used for extra purchases, which is unnecessary for our life. For instance, these days a lot of women's are providing a job, which makes it stressful to take care of the household chores as well. So that's why, it is much better for some people to have the nutriments send home. To conclude, it is often argued by some that buying food products in the supermarkets are preferred By a lot of people. Although, there is a group who believes that making an investment online is more preferable. In my opinion, I believe that it is better to buy online, because it's saves time and wealth, which is great to make time for other tasks.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that purchasing food in the shops is more significant.
However
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is more enjoyable to do the grocery shopping on the internet. In my point of view, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more significant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food online. In the
next
paragraphs, I will discuss both sides of this issue.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it will increase the cooking inspiration.
The reason for this is
that you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across several products, which will look delicious to prepare.
For instance
, most of the mothers are using this technique to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
meals to prepare for their family. All in all, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more predictable for the cook to invest in a certain type of fruit and vegetables.

On the other hand
, using the technology is quicker and money saving. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no time wasted, neither wealth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, which is unnecessary for our life.
For instance
, these days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of women's are providing a job, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it stressful to take care of the household chores
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that's why, it is much better for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have the nutriments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
home.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that buying food products in the supermarkets
are preferred


By a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there is a group who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that making an investment online is more preferable. In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
online,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's saves time and wealth, which is great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
time for other tasks.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people prefer to shop for food in supermarkets. Other people prefer to do their food shopping online. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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