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Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific re v.5

Question: The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific re v. 5
Nowadays, the problem of children getting addicted to TV programs has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this issue can be attributed to a whole host of reasons, some feasible solutions can be considered to address this There are a number of compelling reasons why kids watch much more television than spend time on active or creative things. First, since nature of children is curious, they tend to watch TV programs containing attractive and eye-catching contents. In fact, these programs provide visual and sound effects, which evokes children’s curiosity. Second, by doing work and earning money constantly to meet the standard of living, parents have no choice but to leave their kids with TV. This means that they are able to pay less attention to them, leading to kids are reliant to watching TV for mental rewards. Nevertheless, there are at least two actions could tackle this issue. First, in order to limit their kids daily screen time, parents should use TV controller for active timing control. This means that they have no choice but to participate other activities, such as painting or music courses, which is able to break a screen habit in children. Second, if parents spend time taking care their offspring, they tend to pay less attention to TV. For example, by doing homework or doing outdoor activities together with their children, this provides them fun alternatives, which helps them do not get addicted to virtual world. In conclusion, there are various reasons why children watch TV too much as spend less time on active or creative activities. But, this negative status could be tackled by set of appropriate solutions
Nowadays, the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
getting addicted to TV programs has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this issue can
be attributed
to a whole host of reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible solutions can
be considered
to address this

There are a number of compelling reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
much more television than spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on active or creative things.
First
, since nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is curious, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV programs containing attractive and eye-catching contents. In fact, these programs provide visual and sound effects, which evokes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
curiosity. Second, by doing work and earning money
constantly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the standard of living, parents have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
with TV. This means that they are able to pay less attention to them, leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are reliant to watching TV for mental rewards.

Nevertheless
, there are at least two actions could tackle this issue.
First
, in order to limit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
daily screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
TV controller for active timing control. This means that they have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to participate other activities, such as painting or music courses, which is able to break a screen habit in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Second, if parents spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
taking care their offspring, they tend to pay less attention to TV.
For example
, by doing homework or doing outdoor activities together with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, this provides them fun alternatives, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to virtual world.

In conclusion
, there are various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV too much as spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on active or creative activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
status could
be tackled
by set of appropriate solutions
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific re v. 5

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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