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Some people prefer to shop for food in supermarket while some others prefer to shop online. Discuss both view and give your opinion v.2

Some people prefer to shop for food in supermarket while some others prefer to shop online. 2
Buying rice is one of the fundamental aspects of human being activities in the given society. It is therefore clearly indicate that some people tend to buy different foods in various shops and others like buying directly online. Hence, this essay shall delve into the discussion of both modes of shopping foods. However, scholars have argued that supermarkets provide a conducive opportunity for people to have access to the foods which they want to buy. This eventually helps an individual to select the appropriate kind of foods which are not expired. For example, supermarkets give an opportunity for self-service to the people. Apart from that human beings take advantage of avoiding to buy foodstuffs from markets that are dirty. They normally prefer to go directly to the shopping centre to assess the shop which keeps foods that are clean and health to them, in the sense that hygiene plays a critical role in ensuring that there is no any outbreak of cholera in the given area and also to avoid certain diseases such as dysentery, typhoid and malnutrition to occur to children as well as themselves. Contrary to the above segment, some individuals prefer buying foods online. This is because the internet provides the capacity of people to search for any food they would want to eat. Thereby, encouraging them not to waste time to go to the supermarket in person to buy bread. For example, the particular lady or man can get a phone to search for vegetables using google platform whilst relaxing at home with his or her family members without going to the shopping centre. In this context, online provides the chance for citizens to save enough time to do other things instead of visiting the supermarket. Furthermore, the Internet is very easy to use with the fact that someone will just get a computer gadget or tablet to find out for different foods which he/she would buy just there and then. For example, he/she will just use opera or google chrome and type, the type of meal meal which different shops are offering online. This helps him/her to know the price of a given food rather than visiting the actual shops. However, supermarkets become a little bit trickier because it requires an individual to visit the shop. Thus, forcing someone to spend money on transport. On the other hand, internet also is expensive with the fact that, it encourages citizens to source for money to buy bundles. Summing up, it has been observed that both methods of shopping highlight various merits and demerits when using them to buying numerous foods. One of the traceable advantages of supermarkets is that, they help people to choose different foods physically as compared to internet facilities. Conversely, online shopping becomes expensive because someone needs to buy bundles. Otherwise, both modes of shopping are very imperative for human beings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Buying
rice is one of the fundamental aspects of human being activities in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
society. It is
therefore
clearly
indicate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Hence
, this essay shall delve into the discussion of both modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
foods.

However
, scholars have argued that supermarkets provide a conducive opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
. This
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
an individual to select the appropriate kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which are not expired.
For example
, supermarkets give an opportunity for self-service to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Apart from that human beings take advantage of avoiding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
foodstuffs from markets that are dirty. They
normally
prefer to go
directly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
to assess the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that are clean and health to them, in the sense that hygiene plays a critical role in ensuring that there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any outbreak of cholera in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
area and
also
to avoid certain diseases such as dysentery, typhoid and malnutrition to occur to children
as well
as themselves.

Contrary to the above segment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the internet provides the capacity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to search for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
they would want to eat. Thereby, encouraging them not to waste time to go to the supermarket in person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
bread.
For example
, the particular lady or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a phone to search for vegetables using google platform whilst relaxing at home with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
family members without going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. In this context,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
provides the chance for citizens to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to do other things
instead
of visiting the supermarket.

Furthermore
, the Internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
with the fact that someone will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a computer gadget or tablet to find out for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which he/she would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
there and then.
For example
, he/she will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
opera or
Did you mean "Google Chrome"?
google chrome
and type, the type of
Possible typo: you repeated a word
meal meal
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him/her to know the price of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than visiting the actual shops.

However
, supermarkets become a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
trickier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it requires an individual to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
.
Thus
, forcing someone to spend money on transport.
On the other hand
, internet
also
is expensive with the fact that, it encourages citizens to source for money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
bundles.

Summing up, it has
been observed
that both methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
highlight various merits and demerits when using them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. One of the traceable advantages of supermarkets is that, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
physically
as compared to internet facilities.
Conversely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
becomes expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
someone needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
bundles.
Otherwise
, both modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
imperative for human beings.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to shop for food in supermarket while some others prefer to shop online. 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
478 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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