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In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v.2

In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2
Weddings are become massive and need a huge amount of money in many countries. In my opinion, nowadays it is fancy to prepare for this event. According to, the ancestors become richer more than before. The people can arrange for an enormous wedding because of the development of the materials associated with preparing for marriage. Firstly, the events of marriage it needs for an immense place for calibrating, While many relatives and known people are invited. In modern days there were many significant weddings. For example, Egypt in 1985 the marriage of the son of the president that many crucial people were invited and celebrate with the couple that they tied the knot in a giant hall that has the capacity for more than 5000 people. As a result, the designers decide to establish a huge chamber. Furthermore, guests put more concentration on the exterior view. Therefore, couples try to make a charming and luxurious wedding. Secondly, the situation in any country that helped to raise the cost of the dress, rent for hale and the arrangement inside it. However, it is an unforgettable memory that will settle on the mind for along life and. For instance, the wedding of prince harry and his wife. That was written in all the newspapers in all countries in 2018. Its value was high; it requires a massive amount of money because of its preparation, but it provides thrilled among the country with song and adorable design for the event. In conclusion, wedding places are massive. Concerning, the significant marriage happened nowadays more than before. I do agree with, the price of arrangement for the marriage ceremony is extravagant indeed, ancestors become wealthier. .
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Weddings
are become
massive and need a huge amount of money in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In my opinion, nowadays it is fancy to prepare for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. According to, the ancestors become richer more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can arrange for an enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of the materials associated with preparing for marriage.

Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
it needs for an immense place for calibrating, While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
relatives and known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are invited
. In modern days there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
.
For example
, Egypt in 1985 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
of the son of the president that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were invited
and celebrate with the couple that they tied the knot in a giant hall that has the capacity for more than 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, the designers decide to establish a huge chamber.
Furthermore
, guests put more concentration on the exterior view.
Therefore
, couples try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a charming and luxurious wedding.

Secondly
, the situation in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to raise the cost of the dress, rent for hale and the arrangement inside it.
However
, it is an unforgettable memory that will settle on the mind for along life and.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
prince harry
and his wife. That
was written
in all the newspapers in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in 2018. Its value was high; it requires a massive amount of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its preparation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it provides thrilled among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with song and adorable design for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
places are massive. Concerning, the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
happened nowadays more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with, the price of arrangement for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
ceremony is extravagant
indeed
, ancestors become wealthier.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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