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Some people prefer to live in the country. Others prefer to live in the big cities. Compare these places. v.2

Some people prefer to live in the country. Others prefer to live in the big cities. Compare these places. v. 2
Since the dawn of humanity, human beings have been involved in a great struggle in finding a decent and convenient accommodation. In today' s world, however, there exists a heated controversy as to whether one should live in the countryside or big city. While I can understand why some argue that it would be better to people to live in the rural areas, I believe that living in big cities can have various advantages to humans. On the one hand, there are various reasons why some argue that living in countryside can bring different success to the residents. The most obvious reason is that they may assert that the countryside enjoy from a healthy conditions and lead people towards the healthy life. In personal perspective, they assume that access to healthy diet would play a significant role in achieving efficient mind and physical. Moreover, they claim that rural areas prepare a proper way to the residents to solidify the family basics. In this regard, they have an active interaction with together and create a great deal of contribution to solve their problems. In addition, small towns may provide an unmatched environment to thoughtful and considerate parents that nurture their kids and children in free-corruption atmosphere, as well as the children in this condition can pay attention to their demands without any tendency towards criminal events. That why, some people prefer to live in the countryside rather than a big city. In spite of these reasons, I believe that people should live in big cities rather than small towns. First, advent of state-of-the-art technologies bring an unexampled situations for humans to pave the way to create a powerful communication with different people around the world so that they can supply their demand and problems without any waste of time in a blink of an eye. Those who claim that communication among people in countryside play an important role in achieving success, they fail to take into account that today' s world is sum of different individuals with various races, while the rural residents are faced with limited people. Second, the city dwellers have access to the modern hygiene and healthy conditions and can find a proper medicinal solution by using experienced doctors, While people in rural areas have no access to these centers, as well as the lack of sewer plans in those areas are one of the important sources of delivering of virus and dangerous diseases for people. Finally, the city environment provide a proper conditions to elites to recognize their inherent skills and abilities, as well as the application of modern technology in the schools has prepared a suitable ambient for educational systems in the cities. In contrast, rural residents are deprived from these educational systems and children cannot have a good education. In conclusion, although some might have a gravitation to living in the country side, I prefer to live in big cities because of preparing modern amenities, equipped healthy centers, and proper environment for children' s upbringing.
Since the dawn of humanity, human beings have
been involved
in a great struggle in finding a decent and convenient accommodation. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world,
however
, there exists a heated controversy
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
one should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city. While I can understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that it would be better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, I believe that living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can have various advantages to humans.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
success to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
. The most obvious reason is that they may assert that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
enjoy from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
conditions and lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life. In personal perspective, they assume that access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet would play a significant role in achieving efficient mind and physical.
Moreover
, they claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
prepare a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
way to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
to solidify the family basics. In this regard, they have an active interaction with together and create a great deal of contribution to solve their problems.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns may provide an unmatched environment to thoughtful and considerate parents that nurture their kids and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in free-corruption atmosphere,
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
can pay attention to their demands without any tendency towards criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. That why,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these reasons, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns.
First
, advent of state-of-the-art technologies bring an unexampled
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "situation"?
situations
for humans to pave the way to create a powerful communication with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can supply their demand and problems without any waste of time in a blink of an eye. Those who claim that communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in achieving success, they fail to take into account that
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world is sum of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
individuals with various races, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
are faced
with limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Second, the city dwellers have access to the modern hygiene and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
conditions and can find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
medicinal solution by using experienced doctors, While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have no access to these centers,
as well
as the lack of sewer plans in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sources of delivering of virus and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Finally
, the city environment provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
conditions to elites to recognize their inherent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities,
as well
as the application of modern technology in the schools has prepared a suitable ambient for educational systems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
are
The usual collocation for "deprived" is "of" not "". Did you mean "deprived of"?
deprived from
these educational systems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might have a gravitation to living in the country side, I prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of preparing modern amenities, equipped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
centers, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
environment for
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s upbringing.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in the country. Others prefer to live in the big cities. Compare these places. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
500 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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