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Some people prefer to live in the country. Others prefer to live in the big cities. Compare these places. v.1

Some people prefer to live in the country. Others prefer to live in the big cities. Compare these places. v. 1
In this contemporary era, it is difficult to make a proper discipline between professional as well as personal life. Sometime few people make a good adjustment in it. In the following piece of writing, I will elaborate few remedial measures to tackle this situation and thus will lead to a logical conclusion. Steps to deal with this problem are many, but the most significant one is that, the government and higher authorities should make a flexible timing for working, which is beneficial for employees to make a balance in their life. As they spend a quality time with their family members and also perform office work according to their own preferred duration, which leads to a happy lifestyle. For instance, in many MNC's companies, workers do their work from home and they also spend leisure moments with family. Another prominent solution of this concern is that the individuals should also make a proper division in their job and personal activity. Consequently, it helps them to concentrate more on work and making strong bonding with other peoples by doing recreational activities with them. Moreover, it also helps them in personality development. For example, a survey by WHO, which reveals that the people who make a division in various aspects of their daily life are 35% more successful in life as compared to other. In a nutshell, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that the problem of balancing life can be successfully addressed, if the stated measures are taken.
In this contemporary era, it is difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a proper discipline between professional
as well
as personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Sometime few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
adjustment in it. In the following piece of writing, I will elaborate few remedial measures to tackle this situation and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.

Steps to deal with this problem are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most significant one is that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and higher authorities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a flexible timing for working, which is beneficial for employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a balance in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As they spend a quality time with their family members and
also
perform office work according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferred duration, which leads to a happy lifestyle.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNC
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, workers do their work from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
they
also
spend leisure moments with family.

Another prominent solution of this concern is that the individuals should
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a proper division in their job and personal activity.
Consequently
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to concentrate more on work and making strong bonding with other peoples by doing recreational activities with them.
Moreover
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in personality development.
For example
, a survey by
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
, which reveals that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a division in various aspects of their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are 35% more successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as compared to other.

In a nutshell, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that the problem of balancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can be
successfully
addressed, if the stated measures
are taken
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in the country. Others prefer to live in the big cities. Compare these places. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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