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some people prefer to live in small family units, while other think it is better to live in large family groups. discuss both view and give your opinion. v.1

some people prefer to live in small family units, while other think it is better to live in large family groups. v. 1
People have different views about what type of family they tend to follow. While there is an ever-increasing number of individuals opting for multiple generations households, I would argue that living in nuclear families is a superior choice if they want to get more privacy. Living in extended families can be deemed advantageous and necessary for some reasons. To begin with, due to the large population, the household chores can be split into plenty of tasks. For instance, while some do the washing-up, the others mop up floors. Therefore, everyone can hang loose for a while. Secondly, children would have someone who would teach them or learn the value core from other relatives. This leads to advancement in their manners and etiquette. As a consequence, children will be more obedient towards adults as well as their teachers. If youngsters behave immorally, they would probably cope up with struggle lives. Many reasons are leading me to believe that choosing nuclear families is the best option. First of all, the family earns, spends and saves money for itself, so each member can take care of their personal needs in a much better way. Hence, parents can invest money for the education of their children and the whole family can understand each other well. Moreover, the mindsets of different people are different in account of their age, experiences, professions, education and other factors. In a joint family, people ought to oblige to the interests of others and may not always have the freedom to go about making their own choices. Meanwhile, everybody can get more privacy when staying in small family units. In conclusion, my firm conviction is that while extended families is beneficial to some extent, single-family has more constructive influences on the family bonds and children’s thriving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about what type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
they tend to follow. While there is an ever-increasing number of individuals opting for multiple generations households, I would argue that living in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is a superior choice if they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more privacy.

Living in extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can
be deemed
advantageous and necessary for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, due to the large population, the household chores can
be split
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of tasks.
For instance
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do the washing-up, the others mop up floors.
Therefore
, everyone can hang loose for a while.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would have someone who would teach them or learn the value core from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
relatives. This leads to advancement in their manners and etiquette. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be more obedient towards adults
as well
as their teachers. If youngsters behave
immorally
, they would
probably
cope up with struggle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
reasons are leading me to believe that choosing nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is the best option.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
earns, spends and saves money for itself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
each member can take care of their personal needs in a much better way.
Hence
, parents can invest money for the education of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
well.
Moreover
, the mindsets of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in account of their age, experiences, professions, education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors. In a joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ought to oblige to the interests of others and may not always have the freedom to go about making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices. Meanwhile, everybody can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more privacy when staying in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
units.

In conclusion
, my firm conviction is that while extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, single-family has more constructive influences on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
thriving
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay some people prefer to live in small family units, while other think it is better to live in large family groups. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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