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In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend? v.1

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend? v. 1
In recent years, it has been far more normal people to live alone or live in a nuclear family, especially those who live in big cities. In my opinion, this trend could have both positive and negative effects that I will examine in this essay. On the one hand, people living in a small family or living alone have several advantages. Firstly, individuals choose to live for their own life may become independent and responsible for themselves. For example, a young adult will have to learn how to cook, how to save their budgets to pay all the house bills, which are valuable skills for their life. Secondly, deciding to live in a small family means that people can have more freedom in doing what they want without disturbing other family members. For instance, because of living in a nuclear family, a young teenager can dance and listen to louder music that he/she likes, which does not bother anyone. Last but not least, parents can spend more time taking care of their child as they are close-knit together. On the other hand, this trend I have given above can cause negative angles. Initially, feelings are considered to be one of the most detrimental factors when living alone. Due to isolating from a family, they are able to experience loneliness, depression, and anxiety and capable of missing out the daily conversation and feeling the house bills overweigh that sometimes they cannot handle it. By contrast, those who do not stay in an extended family, usually tend to become an indolent person. Thiss is because they lack the encouragement of other members. Moreover, members in a small family sometimes are unable to find common voices, share the same interests, and communicate his/her stories to siblings, which make them feel confined by their own family. In conclusion, nowadays, people tend to live in a nuclear family or live alone causing both negative and positive effects that I mentioned above.
In recent years, it has been far more normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
especially
those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities. In my opinion, this trend could have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects that I will examine in this essay.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
have several advantages.
Firstly
, individuals choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life may become independent and responsible for themselves.
For example
, a young adult will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn how to cook, how to save their budgets to pay all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
bills, which are valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for their life.
Secondly
, deciding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have more freedom in doing what they want without disturbing other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, a young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
can dance and listen to louder music that he/she likes, which does not bother anyone. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, parents can spend more time taking care of their child as they are close-knit together.

On the other hand
, this trend I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
angles.
Initially
, feelings
are considered
to be one of the most detrimental factors when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. Due to isolating from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they are able to experience loneliness, depression, and anxiety and capable of missing out the daily conversation and feeling the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
bills
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they cannot handle it. By contrast, those who do not stay in an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
usually
tend to become an indolent person.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thiss is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lack the encouragement of other members.
Moreover
, members in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
The adverb 'sometimes' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
sometimes are
unable to find common voices, share the same interests, and communicate his/her stories to siblings, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel confined by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family.

In conclusion
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
causing both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects that I mentioned above.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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