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Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love the lifestyle in countries with cold climate. Discuss both the view and give your opinion. v.1

Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love the lifestyle in countries with cold climate. v. 1
Humid weather is favoured by few people, but some mankind enjoys the life in the cool atmosphere. This essay narrates both the views and supports with my opinion. Everybody has their own preferences, likewise some people like to be in a hot climate, because by being in a hot climate, they can wear less clothes and enjoy the sun, unlike in cold weather where as one must cover the whole body to save themselves from cold and diseases related to cold weather. Hot weather kills the bacteria in the atmosphere, so such regions are healthier for human kind. Hot weather enhances fashion by letting people wear designer clothes and expose the healthy muscles and skin. But sunny weather can give problems such as dehydration and possible death because of extremely hot air. Eventually, there are other kind of people who likes the cold weather a lot, for example Oymyakon, Russia, is an extremely cold region on earth, but people living in Oymyakon are not ready to leave that place, because they enjoy cold weather. Energy does not get evaporated because of the sun, so people enjoy the cold weather. One must make the water hot to drink, so one ends up wasting heat energy just to warm up the water, or to liquidity the ice. In my thought process weather between 20 to 25 degrees Celsius is best to enjoy outdoor activities. In conclusion, weather is a very debatable topic. This essay covered why hot weather regions are preferred by human kind, whereas colder nations are much more fun as they allow people to be free from sweat. Personally, I prefer living in cold weather much more because one can easily go outdoors without having to worry about dehydration.
Humid
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weather
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by few
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people
,
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but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mankind
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enjoys
the life in the cool atmosphere. This essay narrates both the views and supports with my opinion.

Everybody has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferences,
likewise
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some
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people
like to be in a hot climate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by being in a hot climate, they can wear
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun clothes is countable.
less
clothes and
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enjoy
the sun, unlike in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
cover the whole body to save themselves from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
and diseases related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
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weather
. Hot
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weather
kills the bacteria in the atmosphere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
such regions are healthier for human kind. Hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
enhances fashion by letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wear designer clothes and expose the healthy muscles and skin.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
sunny
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weather
can give problems such as dehydration and possible death
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
extremely
hot air.

Eventually
, there are other
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "kinds"?
kind
of
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people
who likes the
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cold
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weather
a lot,
for example
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oymyakon
, Russia, is an
extremely
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cold
region on earth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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people
living in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oymyakon
are not ready to
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leave
that place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
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enjoy
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cold
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weather
. Energy does not
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get
evaporated
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because
of the sun,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the
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cold
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weather
. One
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must
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make
the water hot to drink,
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so
one ends up wasting heat energy
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just
to warm up the water, or to liquidity the ice. In my
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thought
process
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weather
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 20 and 25".
between 20 to 25
degrees Celsius is best to
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enjoy
outdoor activities.

In conclusion
,
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weather
is a
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very
debatable topic. This essay covered why hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
regions
are preferred
by human kind, whereas colder nations are much more fun as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be free from sweat.
Personally
, I prefer living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one can
easily
go outdoors without having to worry about dehydration.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love the lifestyle in countries with cold climate. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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