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Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love the lifestyle in countries with cold climate. Discuss both the view and give your opinion. v.2

Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love the lifestyle in countries with cold climate. v. 2
It is often argued by some that they prefer to live in warmer areas, whereas, others would enjoy the lifestyle of colder nations. Although some people would like to enjoy the hit of the sun, I believe that the vast majority of them prefer walking through the rain, as such climates have its special rituals. On the one hand, some people prefer hotter areas to live as this will give them positive vibes. They like being touched by the rays of the sun or having a cup of tea into the sea. For instance, during my travel to Australia, I had the chance to visit my aunt on the Gold Coast. She admitted that people would die if the temperature is below 10 degrees as many people had been facing some breath problems due to the lower temperatures. For these reasons, they would prefer to live in such climates. On the other hand, the vast majority of people will enjoy the weather when temperatures are at their lowest degree, especially at the end of the year when preparations for Christmas will take place. Many people would love watching the snowfall and its whitening on streets and trees. For example, my father prefers to walk when it is snowing as this will add the sense of feeling comfortable and secure, especially at night when people are sleeping. To conclude, although people may vary in their opinions. I believe that colder weathers have its own spiritual energy in keeping many people feeling warm and secure.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in warmer areas, whereas, others would enjoy the lifestyle of colder nations. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to enjoy the hit of the sun, I believe that the vast majority of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
walking through the rain, as such climates have its special rituals.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
hotter areas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as this will give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
vibes. They like
being touched
by the rays of the sun or having a cup of tea into the sea.
For instance
, during my travel to Australia, I had the chance to visit my aunt on the Gold Coast. She admitted that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
if the temperature is below 10 degrees as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had been facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
breath problems due to the lower temperatures. For these reasons, they would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in such climates.

On the other hand
, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will enjoy the weather when temperatures are at their lowest degree,
especially
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year when preparations for Christmas will take place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
watching the snowfall and its whitening on streets and trees.
For example
, my father
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefers
to walk when it is snowing as this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
the sense of feeling comfortable and secure,
especially
at night when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are sleeping.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions. I believe that colder weathers have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
spiritual energy in keeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feeling warm and secure.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love the lifestyle in countries with cold climate. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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