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These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages? v.6

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 6
Nowadays, most of the people have the enthusiasm to do their job at home. Because there is a various array of facilities such as private computers or cell phones, it is so easy to take responsibility of the job at home. Although, there are a number of benefits in this trend, the benefits accruing to work at home is by no means negligible. On the plus side, the advantages for an employing job at home are manifold. To begin with, working at home cause more free time to work convenience rather than going to the office and struggle by traffic. That is to say, when the situation for people is comfortable, they will not be tired whatsoever. for example, lying on sofa with laptop on hand and doing job not only cause more energy, but can be reason to have more concentration. So, under no circumstances is it acceptable to commute to work in a high traffic, providing that it is possible to stay at home and work so sufficiently. On the other hand, working at home make people to be less social according to the less communication. Communication in offices is face to face, so individuals can talk about today news and chores. To simply put, when we have a conversation with our colleagues, we can improve our social behaviour to some extent. For example, it was observed that some young people were shy at the first days of work, but after several months they build their communication very well. But if these sorts of people work at home they will never take in to be a social person. Thus, offices are good place to learn social manners in addition to chat about today's news, which make us to be updated to issues in the world. To conclude, working at home with easy facilities such as laptops or smatphones can be both rewarding and problematic. While it may help to take more convenience at home, peoples cannot be social and they do not have information about how to build the relation network.
Nowadays, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the enthusiasm to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there is a various array of facilities such as private computers or cell phones, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy to take responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at home. Although, there are a number of benefits in this trend, the benefits accruing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home is by no means negligible.

On the plus side, the advantages for an employing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at home are manifold. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, working at home cause more free time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
convenience
rather
than going to the office and struggle by traffic.
That is
to say, when the situation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
comfortable, they will not
be tired
whatsoever.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, lying on sofa with laptop on hand and doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause more energy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can be reason to have more concentration.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, under no circumstances is it acceptable to commute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a high traffic, providing that it is possible to stay at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sufficiently
.

On the other hand
, working at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
according to the less communication. Communication in offices is face to face,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
individuals can talk about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
news and chores. To
simply
put, when we have a conversation with our colleagues, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
For example
, it
was observed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were shy at the
first
days of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after several months they build their communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if these sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home they will never take in to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
person.
Thus
, offices are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
manners
in addition
to chat about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's news, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us to
be updated
to issues in the world.

To conclude
, working at home with easy facilities such as laptops or
Possible spelling mistake found.
smatphones
can be both rewarding and problematic. While it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to take more convenience at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
cannot be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
social and
they do not have information about how to build the relation network.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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