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Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love lifestyles in countries with cold climate. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love lifestyles in countries with cold climate. v. 1
Some people like cold weather, however others like high temperature. While some are of the opinion that cold and calm season is good to survive, I believe that hot and hike season is good to be. On the one hand, some people say that a coolness makes an awesome mood. Firstly, brisk gives a fine atmosphere. This is because of the people mind also being not only in the calm state but also it helps to take the correct decision. Another reason for liking the climate is more scenery were open in this climate. Individuals prefer to go to frosty place for their vacation, so it gives the experience to see breathtaking views and they can enjoy a lot. For example, in 2016, the New York Times conducted a study in London among tourist. From that, they revealed two-third of the immigrants prefer frigid and raw panorama than another travel spot. On the other hand, I believe that fervour in eligible for survival. In addition, it gives more energy and power to do our daily activities. Since the human blood pressure is high on that season. Furthermore, day time is lengthy and sufficient to accomplish the task when compared to another attitude. Moreover, the body maintains, metabolism and digestion, in ideal functional level which helps to bring in a healthy state. For instance, in 2015, Cambridge University conducted a study in Paris among college students. In that, they found students activity significance about 30% in torridity even though it existed in rough climate. In conclusion, I believe that although an elevated level is decent to endure, there are others like frosty to inhabit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather,
however
others like high temperature. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are of the opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
and calm season is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to survive, I believe that hot and hike season is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to be.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that a coolness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an awesome mood.
Firstly
, brisk gives a fine atmosphere. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mind
also
being not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the calm state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to take the correct decision. Another reason for liking the climate is more scenery were open in this climate. Individuals prefer to go to frosty place for their vacation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it gives the experience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
breathtaking
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
views and
they can enjoy a lot.
For example
, in 2016, the New York Times conducted a study in London among tourist. From that, they revealed two-third of the immigrants prefer frigid and raw panorama than another travel spot.

On the other hand
, I believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
fervour
in eligible for survival.
In addition
, it gives more energy and power to do our daily activities.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the human blood pressure is high on that season.
Furthermore
, day time is lengthy and sufficient to accomplish the task when compared to another attitude.
Moreover
, the body maintains, metabolism and digestion, in ideal functional level which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to bring in a healthy state.
For instance
, in 2015, Cambridge University conducted a study in Paris among college students. In that, they found students activity significance about 30% in torridity
even though
it existed in rough climate.

In conclusion
, I believe that although an elevated level is decent to endure, there are others like frosty to inhabit.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love lifestyles in countries with cold climate. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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