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Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v.6

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v. 6
Nowadays, the business owner thinking of new ways to improve the workspace environment. Some people think that employers should give the employees longer vacations to improve their working productivity. I totally agree with this, I believe giving longer holiday period has positive impacts on employees work. To start with, there are several advantages of giving longer holiday periods for employees. Firstly, taking longer vacation period has positive impacts on the quality of working. This is because, when employees take longer holidays and taking physical rest this will recharge their energy to return to their work with more power. Secondly, giving longer holidays will enhance the work environment. Due to this, when employees taking longer vacations that will help to enhance the employees mental health and that will positively impact the work environment. For example, many employees take their vacation to reduce the working stress and will be encouraged to return to their job with better mentality. In addition, giving longer vacations might be helpful to improve the qualifications of business staff. Because when employees take longer vacations they might use the spare time by taking training course to improve their knowledge. As a result, that will improve employees skills and encourage them to do better work. Moreover, long vacation might be helpful for employees social life. Due to this. employees will spend more time with their family and friends. So, this will make them more satisfied with their jobs. For instance, people who take longer vacations period and spent it with their family are most likely to be satisfied with their jobs. In conclusion, giving longer holidays to employees has several positive impacts on the business such as improving the mental and physical health of employees and this will reflect positively on their working abilities, so the business owners should consider giving longer holidays to their employees.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owner thinking of new ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the workspace environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that employers should give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
productivity. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
work.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are several advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
periods
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
Firstly
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
and taking physical rest this will recharge their energy to return to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with more power.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
will enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment. Due to this, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
mental health and that will
positively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and will
be encouraged
to return to their job with better mentality.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
might be helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the qualifications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
staff.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the spare time by taking training course to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their knowledge.
As a result
, that will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and encourage them to do better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
might be helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
social life. Due to this.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
employees
will spend more time with their family and friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more satisfied with their jobs.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
and spent it with their family are most likely to
be satisfied
with their jobs.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
has several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
such as improving the mental and physical health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and this will reflect
positively
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
abilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners should consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
71Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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