Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others think that there are more advantages living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to living in a house rather than in an apartment? v.3

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others think that there are more advantages living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to living in a house rather than in an apartment? v. 3
It is true that all people in their everyday lives face with both negative and positive situations and people argue that every person behaves differently when experiencing a bad situation. Some of them try to develop the situations, while others accept and prefer to not to change anything in their lives. Personally, ı believe that it is because people have different experiences and views. To begin with, people accepting bad situations may prefer to live a stable life. I think that these types of people do not want to change anything in their life and have new goals because of not having any hope. For instance, people who are unsatisfied at a workplace generally are not motivated by employers. They could believe that they succeed do not depend on their work hours or work performance. They might have experienced when they worked hard, their employer would not have given any award to them. On the other hand, trying to develop of the situations offers people to live in a meaningful way because when tackling with problems, they will discover their limits more and gain different types of skills. For example, when people not having any cooking skills live alone, if they always order a meal from restaurants, they will never learn how to cook it, but if they try to cook something that skill day by day, they will see the improvement of the cooking skills. To sum up, ın my perspective, will different experiences people show different reactions to the situation. However, if people want to live in a meaningful life, they always try to push themselves forward to be successful.
It is true that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
face with both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that every person behaves
differently
when experiencing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them try to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, while others accept and prefer
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
anything in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Personally
, ı believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
experiences and views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accepting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
may prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a stable life. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
anything in their life and have new goals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not having any hope.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are unsatisfied
at a workplace
generally
are not motivated by employers. They could believe that they succeed do not depend on their work hours or work performance. They might have experienced when they worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, their employer would not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
any award to them.

On the other hand
, trying to develop of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
Consider replacing "in a meaningful way" with the adverb for "meaningful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a meaningful way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when tackling with problems, they will discover their limits more and gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not having any cooking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone, if they always order a meal from restaurants, they will never learn how to cook it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they try to cook something that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
day by day, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the improvement of the cooking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To sum up,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ın
my perspective, will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
experiences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
reactions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a meaningful life, they always try to push themselves forward to be successful.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a house, while others think that there are more advantages living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to living in a house rather than in an apartment? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts