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Some people prefer to live in a house, while others think that there are more advantages living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to living in a house rather than in an apartment? v.2

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others think that there are more advantages living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to living in a house rather than in an apartment? v. 2
The preference of a human, living in an apartment or home depends on a lot of factors. Some people prefer to live in a flat because the expenditure incurred is cheaper than staying in a house. While some people prefer privacy over the amount. This essay will discuss the advantages of living in a flat over the ranch. To begin with, the expenses incurred to maintain a flat are not high, in contrary, to duplex. Moreover, the services provided by the community are less expensive. They provide services like fitness facilities, a sports centre for the use of members for less tariff. They provide security to protect the colony, in contrary, the duplex owner, they have to look for security agencies which are reliable and have to pay the hefty fees to hire them. For instance - The place where I stay, has a small park in the society premises in which they have types of equipment for the kids to play inside the premises and they don’t have to go out in the park which is at the distance. These provide security for the kids, moreover, it is not time-consuming for the parents. Secondly, the neighbours can help each other in case of an emergency. Unfortunately, the person it is not possible for the row house as the owner is unknown about their neighbours, so they cannot take help from them. However, they are dependent on themselves or their family members. The freedom to renovate the home as per their wish is possible for bungalow owners, while there are interrupted by the members for the flat owners. The interference of neighbours is minimal as compared to the flat owners. In conclusion, the capital, which is saved and the help which we get at the time of emergency is more valuable than having a humongous home. Therefore, I recommend human to stay in flat instead of staying in a bungalow
The preference of a human, living in an apartment or home depends on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
factors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the expenditure incurred is cheaper than staying in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer privacy over the amount. This essay will discuss the advantages of living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
over the ranch.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the expenses incurred to maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
are not high, in contrary, to duplex.

Moreover
, the services provided by the community are less expensive. They provide services like fitness facilities, a sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of members for less tariff. They provide security to protect the colony, in contrary, the duplex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look for security agencies which are reliable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay the hefty fees to hire them.
For instance
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
The place where I stay, has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
park in the society premises in which they have types of equipment for the kids to play inside the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
premises and
they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go out in the park which is at the distance. These provide security for the kids,
moreover
, it is not time-consuming for the parents.

Secondly
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other in case of an emergency. Unfortunately, the person it is not possible for the row
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
is unknown about their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from them.
However
, they are dependent on themselves or their family members. The freedom to renovate the home as per their wish is possible for bungalow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
, while there
are interrupted
by the members for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
. The interference of
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
is minimal as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
owners.

In conclusion
, the capital, which
is saved
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
at the time of emergency is more valuable than having a humongous home.
Therefore
, I recommend human to stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
instead
of staying in a bungalow
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a house, while others think that there are more advantages living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to living in a house rather than in an apartment? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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