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Many people today prefer socializing online to that in the local community, do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Many people today prefer socializing online to that in the local community, do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
In the modern world, the consumption of power is a burning issue of the society. Although there is an opinion that each individual should cut down the use of natural resources, such as oil, gas and coal, in order to decrease the level of toxic emissions, which is detrimental for the surrounding world, others feel that such kind of lifestyle cannot be appropriate for the individuals, because they already get used to utilize a high level of power. There is no denying that instead of struggling with shortage of light or heat, individuals are keen to contaminate the atmosphere with toxic gases. First and foremost, the majority of individuals are not aware of environmental issues, such as overusing of lights and wasting natural resources. Accordingly, they are keen to waste such kinds of mineral resources. A good illustration of this is the individuals, who live in rural areas. Due to underdevelopment of mass media in countryside, they often do not get an updated information about the effective methods of saving power. Secondly, many people believe that the authorities should be concerned about such kinds of problems. Accordingly, they are not willing to cut down the use of oil and gases. To illustrate, many citizens of Turkmenistan do not switch their cookers off, because they do not charge for natural gas. On the other hand, the propaganda of saving energy can alleviate the position. It is widely accepted that if individuals come across with advertisings, which are call the citizens to save such kinds of resources, they can start to take action, in order to protect the environment. For example, individuals can meet at various types of commercials in the streets, which are advertising the use of recycling materials in developed countries, such as the USA and UK. Furthermore, introducing heavy taxes for the consumption of toxic gases can partly solve the problem. That is to say, big companies, especially oil companies in developing countries and the UAE should be charged more than other organizations. For instance, these taken actions can really improve the position in these countries. To conclude, although individuals are not willing to take measures to protect the atmosphere, encouragements of the governments can really make the situation better. In addition, people should their best in order to alleviate the situation.
In the modern world, the consumption of power is a burning issue of the society. Although there is an opinion that each
individual
should
cut
down the
use
of natural resources, such as oil, gas and coal, in order to decrease the level of toxic emissions, which is detrimental for the surrounding world, others feel that such
kind
of lifestyle cannot be appropriate for the
individuals
,
because
they already
get
used
to utilize a high level of power.

There is no denying that
instead
of struggling with shortage of light or heat,
individuals
are keen to contaminate the atmosphere with toxic gases.
First
and foremost, the majority of
individuals
are not aware of environmental issues, such as overusing of lights and wasting natural resources.
Accordingly
, they are keen to waste such
kinds
of mineral resources. A
good
illustration of this is the
individuals
, who
live
in rural areas. Due to underdevelopment of mass media in countryside, they
often
do not
get
an updated information about the effective methods of saving power.
Secondly
,
many
people
believe that the authorities should
be concerned
about such
kinds
of problems.
Accordingly
, they are not willing to
cut
down the
use
of oil and gases. To illustrate,
many
citizens of Turkmenistan do not switch their cookers off,
because
they do not charge for natural gas.

On the other hand
, the propaganda of saving energy can alleviate the position. It is
widely
accepted
that if
individuals
come
across with
advertisings
, which are call the citizens to save such
kinds
of resources, they can
start
to take action, in order to protect the environment.
For example
,
individuals
can
meet
at various types of commercials in the streets, which are advertising the
use
of recycling materials in
developed countries
, such as the USA and UK.
Furthermore
, introducing heavy taxes for the consumption of toxic gases can partly solve the problem.
That is
to say,
big
companies
,
especially
oil
companies
in
developing countries
and the UAE should
be charged
more than other organizations.
For instance
, these taken actions can
really
improve
the position in these countries.

To conclude
, although
individuals
are not willing to take measures to protect the atmosphere, encouragements of the
governments
can
really
make
the situation better.
In addition
,
people
should their best in order to alleviate the situation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people today prefer socializing online to that in the local community, do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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