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Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v.20

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 20
Nowadays, we are witnessing that a growing number of people are opting to live in condominiums and apartment buildings, whereas others still prefer to live in the comfort of their own houses. While both of these accommodations initially seem not much different from one another, there are certain upsides and downsides to each of them. Living in a house would offer many benefits to the household, especially if the family is an extended one. For instance, many parents are concerned about having enough living space and simultaneously allocating an area to children's activities. Many houses provide not only enough bedroom and living spaces, but also they may have a backyard or playground in which children can play and spend time. In addition, homeowners can freely make improvements to their houses without the need to ask for a permission from building manager which is exactly what is required when someone stays in an apartment. On the other hand, living in an apartment means that you have more convenience accessing facilities such as guest rooms, party rooms, fitness centre and swimming pools. What is more, one does not need to stress about any maintenance or additional costs rather than the monthly charge that is routinely paid. Also apartments are often located near public transportation which makes them connected to the rest of the neighbourhood such as shopping malls or downtown offices and banks. But in the meantime, there might not be enough parking spaces available to the residents or their guests, which may cause inconveniences when guests are invited over. Additionally emergency situations such as fire hazards that require instant evacuation may pose a threat to the lives of apartment inhabitants. In conclusion, when we carefully compare residing in a house to staying in an apartment building, we can clearly see that although apartments offer more facilities and may be more readily accessible, there are some troublesome aspects to them that make living in a house more pleasing and desirable.
Nowadays, we are witnessing that a growing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are opting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in condominiums and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
buildings, whereas others
still
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the comfort of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. While both of these accommodations
initially
seem not much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from one another, there are certain upsides and downsides to each of them.

Living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
would offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to the household,
especially
if the family is an extended one.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents
are concerned
about having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
space and
simultaneously
allocating an area to children's activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
provide not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
bedroom and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
spaces,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they may have a backyard or playground in which children can play and spend time.
In addition
, homeowners can
freely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
improvements to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
without the need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a permission from building manager which is exactly what
is required
when someone stays in an apartment.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
means that you have more convenience accessing facilities such as guest rooms, party rooms, fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and swimming pools.
What is more
, one does not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
about any maintenance or additional costs
rather
than the monthly charge
that is
routinely
paid.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
located near public transportation which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them connected to the rest of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
such as shopping malls or downtown offices and banks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the meantime, there might not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
parking spaces available to the residents or their guests, which may cause inconveniences when guests
are invited
over.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
emergency situations such as fire hazards that require instant evacuation may pose a threat to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
inhabitants.

In conclusion
, when we
carefully
compare residing in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
to staying in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
building, we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
offer more facilities and may be more
readily
accessible, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troublesome aspects to them that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
more pleasing and desirable.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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