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Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.4

Every individuals has their own choices and preferences. Some people prefer to live in a house, while others prefer to live in an apartment. Living in a house has its own advantages over living in an apartment. Living in a house provides the benefits of privacy as for instance, people can organize late night parties, arrange different festivals at their home without disturbing others in their neighbourhood, which is not the case in living in apartment. Secondly, renovation or extension of area is possible in house, because in apartments there are limited space so there is no scope of extension. For example, we can renovate and add multi-storey floor in house according to our family requirements. On the other hand, living in house has several disadvantages. Firstly, the cost of security is higher than living in a apartments. For example, arranging security guard and surveillance system for monitoring house is quiet expensive. Moreover, there are several management and financial consequences of living in a house. Cost of the utility bills and other bills is also incurred by the house owner, which in case of apartments is apportioned and shared among the residents Secondly, it has management consequences as well. Managing and maintaining a big house is difficult. A lot of cleaning and regular maintenance is required, which in apartments are the joint responsibility of residents. To conclude, In my opinion, living in appartment is better option. This is because for I prefer cost and security over privacy and spacious area requirements. Hence, deciding about living in house or appartment is matter of personal considerations and preferences.
‘Each’, ‘every’, ‘either’ and ‘neither’ are used with singular. Did you mean “all”?
Every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “individual”?
individuals
You should probably use “have”.
has
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices and preferences.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, while others prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an apartment.

Living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
provides the benefits of privacy as
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can organize late night parties, arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
festivals at their home without disturbing others in their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbourhood’ is British English.
neighbourhood
, which is not the case in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
.
Secondly
, renovation or extension of area is possible in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
there
are limited
space
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no scope of extension.
For example
, we can renovate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
Possible spelling mistake found.
multi-storey
floor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
according to our family requirements.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
has several disadvantages.
Firstly
, the cost of security is higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
.
For example
, arranging security guard and surveillance system for monitoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is quiet expensive.
Moreover
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun management seems to be uncountable; consider using: “some management”.
several management
and financial consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. Cost of the utility bills and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
bills is
also
incurred by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
owner, which in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
is apportioned
and shared among the residents
Secondly
, it has management consequences
as well
. Managing and maintaining a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is difficult.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
cleaning and regular maintenance
is required
, which in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are the joint responsibility of residents.

To conclude
, In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
appartment
is better option. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for I prefer cost and security over privacy and spacious area requirements.
Hence
, deciding about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
appartment
is matter of personal considerations and preferences.
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As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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