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Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to living in a house compared with living in an apartment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 2
Living a secure life with full of happiness is the most of the peoples' dream where Some experts believe that survive in own residency would have more benefits than having a life in flats, In this essay, both sides have pros and cons equally, yet I go with living in the home would have more advantages. First of all, there are certain reasons for why people are choosing to live in the house, houses are the place where humans can live independent because In the home we can maintain the private space and also It has more spacious area to feel free and do whatever we want without any restrictions, but In the flats, we don't have that much space to access and there it has been maintaining some rules for all the residents, for example, If we live in the home we can dance in spite of that we cannot do the same thing in flats. However, the other side of people argue that the apartment life would have positive, the major concern is less expensive usually, the price of the accommodation is low because it is located in floor by floor, therefore, it does not have more land expensive but, for private home with land is costly, additionally, it has accessible gym, swimming pool, supermarket maybe ATM and also it is quite secure than home. For instance, commonly, in the penthouse they assign security for 24/ 7 thus that whole premises would have high security, moreover without our permission no one can't even visit to us. In conclusion, most of the individuals' status identity has been the laned house than flats, despite, both have negative effects and positive effects but, in my point of view I would say live in the separate shelter is fine
Living a secure life with full of happiness is the most of the peoples' dream where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts believe that survive in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
residency would have more benefits than having a life in flats, In this essay, both sides have pros and cons
equally
,
yet
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
living in the home would have more advantages.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are certain reasons for why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are the place where humans can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
In the home we can maintain the private space and
also
It has more spacious area to feel free and do whatever we want without any restrictions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
In the flats, we don't have that much space to access and there it has been maintaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for all the residents,
for example
, If we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the home we can dance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
that we cannot do the same thing in flats.

However
, the other side of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the apartment life would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, the major concern is less expensive
usually
, the price of the accommodation is low
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is located
in floor by floor,
therefore
, it does not have more land expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, for private home with land is costly,
additionally
, it has accessible gym, swimming pool, supermarket maybe ATM and
also
it is quite secure than home.
For instance
,
commonly
, in the penthouse they assign security for 24/ 7
thus
that whole premises would have high security,
moreover
without our permission no one can't even visit to us.

In conclusion
, most of the individuals' status identity has been the
Possible spelling mistake found.
laned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
than flats, despite, both have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in my point of view I would say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the separate shelter is fine
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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