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Some people prefer to live in a countryside, but other people like to live in a city. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.2

Some people prefer to live in a countryside, but other people like to live in a city. v. 2
In modern times, living in a place where you can adapt with easily has become increasingly controversial. Some people think that living in a small place as well as countryside where you know everyone is more convenient. While others believe that living in a vast place is the optimum choice. In this essay I will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my overall opinion. Generally speaking, there are a wide range of reasons why people prefer to live in the countryside. Perhaps the main reason is because the countryside has a small space, unlike the city which everyone can know each other and help each other. Furthermore, noises in a small area are less than huge ones. Also, the air is clean and healthy because natural trees and vast fields which you can breathe healthily. For example, the latest statistics indicate that ninety per cent of rural people do not suffer from asthma, in contrast to people who live in cities. On the other hand, vast majority of people believe that living in a crowd places like cities is more comfortable because public services, such as electricity, water and medicine are available better than villages. Moreover, job chances are abundant which means that you can obtain work easily, therefore you can earn money and live the life. In conclusion, living whether in a city or countryside is a topic which raises strong passions on both sides of the argument. I tend to believe that living in cities is easier and more comfortable because cities have a good schools, markets and hospitals.
In modern times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where you can adapt with
easily
has become
increasingly
controversial.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
where you know everyone is more convenient.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is the optimum choice. In this essay I will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my
overall
opinion.

Generally
speaking, there are a wide range of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. Perhaps the main reason is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
space, unlike the city which everyone can know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Furthermore
, noises in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
area are less than huge ones.
Also
, the air is clean and healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
natural trees and vast fields which you can breathe
healthily
.
For example
, the latest statistics indicate that ninety per cent of rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not suffer from asthma,
in contrast
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in cities.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
It seems that an article is missing.
vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a crowd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is more comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
public services, such as electricity, water and medicine are available better than villages.
Moreover
, job chances are abundant which means that you can obtain work
easily
,
therefore
you can earn money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
whether in a city or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is a topic which raises strong passions on both sides of the argument. I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is easier and more comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
schools, markets and hospitals.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a countryside, but other people like to live in a city. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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