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Some people believe that individuals cannot improve environment, but only governments and big companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that individuals cannot improve environment, but only governments and big companies can make a difference. v. 3
Nowadays, environmental issues have become a major topic of discussion among people and governments. Many individuals / people argue that environmental protection can be achieved only by the governments or large business conglomerates. I strongly disagree with this opinion as small movements can have a big impact. Also any individual effort for the protection of the environment will be highly appreciated and supported by the public and this will increase the momentum. Even though, the majority of individuals think individual efforts are useless, they have a great impact on a bigger picture. For example, in the waste management process segregating the household garbage items will take only a few minutes for the person who is sending the waste materials to the government agencies, but it provides a greater advantage for the government bodies since it is easier for them to process the properly separated waste materials. If everyone thinks that they cannot make any difference, there will not be any positive move. Therefore it is important for everyone to do whatever they can to protect the environment. In addition, if individual efforts to protect the environment are highlighted through the proper channel, they will inspire many more people to follow the same path. For example, in 2017, Mr. Prashant, the then district collector of Kozhikode, took the personal initiative to clean a public lake in the district and he publicized / promoted the campaign on his Facebook page. After hearing about this, hundreds of local community persons joined the movement and made it a success. If that person was waiting for the government to take action, this would not happen. This clearly shows that any minor initiatives, especially for the betterment of the environment will receive a huge support from the public if we publicize it properly. To conclude, small efforts made by the individuals for the protection of the environment certainly make a difference and encourage others also to contribute. In the light of this we can strongly oppose the given argument which underestimates individual efforts, and clearly state that individual contribution is as much important as the support provided by government bodies and multinational companies.
Nowadays, environmental issues have become a major topic of discussion among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that environmental protection can
be achieved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
or large business conglomerates. I
strongly
disagree with this opinion as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
movements can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
impact.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
for the protection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will be
highly
appreciated and supported by the public and this will increase the momentum.

Even though
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
are useless, they have a great impact on a bigger picture.
For example
, in the waste management process segregating the household garbage items will take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few minutes for the person who is sending the waste materials to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
agencies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it provides a greater advantage for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
bodies since it is easier for them to process the
properly
separated waste materials. If everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any difference, there will not be any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone to do whatever they can to protect the environment.

In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
are highlighted
through the proper channel, they will inspire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to follow the same path.
For example
, in 2017, Mr. Prashant, the then district collector of Kozhikode, took the personal initiative to clean a public lake in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
district and
he publicized / promoted the campaign on his Facebook page. After hearing about this, hundreds of local community persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the movement and made it a success. If that person was waiting for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take action, this would not happen. This
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that any minor initiatives,
especially
for the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will receive a huge support from the public if we publicize it
properly
.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
made by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
for the protection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference and encourage others
also
to contribute. In the light of this we can
strongly
oppose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
argument which underestimates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
, and
clearly
state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
contribution is as much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the support provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
bodies and multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that individuals cannot improve environment, but only governments and big companies can make a difference. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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