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Students in our school or university learn more from classes of teachers than other resources(eg internet or TV), do you agree or disagree？ v.1

Students in our school or university learn more from classes of teachers than other resources(eg internet or TV), ？ v. 1
Education has remained one of the most important aspects of humanity. Nowadays, with the advent of technology, some of the students are running after other resources such as the internet, TV for knowledge, however, I personally believe that the guidance provided by the teachers is one of its kind and it will ultimately help an individual to grow in all dimensions of life. but these sources may prove vital to some so as to cross check the knowledge but it should not be relied upon. To begin with, there are many compelling reasons to include teaching methods from the internet nevertheless, it may prove to be detrimental to one' s understanding as it contains content from different people which may be correct or not. In addition to this, the sources from which this information is being published is not trustworthy and eventually leads to disasters in real life. On the other hand, teachers who impart their knowledge and experience can never be replaced. As these professors are qualified from reputed institutes and have tons of practice which cannot be learned from any other origin. To add to this, people who taught students to have themselves gone through the procedure to complete studies which can be benefited by the pupil wherever they fave difficulties in any region of their schooling. To sum up, I strongly believe that the level a teacher can raise no one else can do it perfectly. On the other hand, though the internet and other methods may provide a better understanding but the experience a teacher has is incomparable which eventually helps in the overall development.
Education has remained one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of humanity. Nowadays, with the advent of technology,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
students are running after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
resources such as the internet, TV for knowledge,
however
, I
personally
believe that the guidance provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is one of its kind and it will
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
an individual to grow in all dimensions of life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
these sources may prove vital to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
cross
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not
be relied
upon.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
compelling reasons to include teaching methods from the internet
nevertheless
, it may prove to be detrimental to
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s understanding as it contains content from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which may be correct or not.
In addition
to this, the sources from which this information is
being published
is not trustworthy and
eventually
leads to disasters in real life.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who impart their knowledge and experience can never
be replaced
. As these professors
are qualified
from reputed institutes and have tons of practice which cannot
be learned
from any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
origin. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who taught students to have themselves gone through the procedure to complete studies which can
be benefited
by the pupil wherever
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they fave
difficulties in any region of their schooling.

To sum up, I
strongly
believe that the level a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can raise no one else can do it
perfectly
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, though the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods may provide a better understanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the experience a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has is incomparable which
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the
overall
development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Students in our school or university learn more from classes of teachers than other resources(eg internet or TV), ？ v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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