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Some people prefer to live in a big city. Others think it is better to live in a small town. Discuss both views. v.1

Some people prefer to live in a big city. Others think it is better to live in a small town. v. 1
Since always, one of the main and crucial choices about what we have to do before we occupying any place is to decide where to live. While lots of people are trying to make sure they live in a big city, many individuals would like to live in a small town. In the 21st century, more and more people want to live in a big city. First of all, one of the reasons why individuals want to live in a large city is more facilities. For example, in these cities, there are lots of convenience especially for the young age category like, more choice to spent leisure time, even better education, and whatever you want to have an exciting life. Secondly, while you live in economic trouble in a small town, lots of job opportunities definitely can wake you up from your nice bed in a small town and drive you to the nearest large city. These are some occasion reasons that everyone desire to go to full-grown cities which bring their more comfortable and relief life. The following lines will give some reasons for us that there are some people would like to go to a small town and live there; their passion is intelligible! First of all, in the crowded city access to calmness life is decreased. They would want to go far away from those cities which only lead us to social anxiety, more daily fight and go to a small town to find peace. Secondly, smaller commuter volume, a low number of cars and factories release fewer pollutants in the air and water which has led to a healthier environment. For instance, in the west of Iran where there are smaller towns than central Iran so that we have less pollution in the environment. In conclusion, some people feel living in big cities have more benefit to them although others interest in go to a small town and have a garden to grow chickens and roosters.
Since always, one of the main and crucial choices about what we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Did you mean "we're occupying", "we are occupying", or "we were occupying"?
we occupying
any place is to decide where to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. While lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
town.

In the 21st century, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one of the reasons why individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a large city is more facilities.
For example
, in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there are lots of convenience
especially
for the young age category like, more choice to spent leisure time, even better education, and whatever you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to have an exciting life.
Secondly
, while you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in economic trouble in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, lots of job opportunities definitely can wake you up from your nice bed in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
and drive you to the nearest large city. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasion reasons that everyone desire to go to full-grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which bring their more comfortable and relief life.

The following lines will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for us that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
there; their passion is intelligible!
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in the crowded city access to calmness life
is decreased
. They would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go far away from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead us to social anxiety, more daily fight and go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
to find peace.
Secondly
, smaller commuter volume, a low number of cars and factories release fewer pollutants in the air and water which has led to a healthier environment.
For instance
, in the west of Iran where there are smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
than central Iran
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we have less pollution in the environment.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have more benefit to them although others interest in go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
and have a garden to grow chickens and roosters.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a big city. Others think it is better to live in a small town. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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