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The tendency of human beings to copy one other is shown in the popularity of some fashion clothes and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree? v.2

The tendency of human beings to copy one other is shown in the popularity of some fashion clothes and consumer goods. v. 2
ravelling provides people with new interesting experience. This may be the main reason why there is an increasing number of trips to isolated places such as the Sahara Desert, the Antarctic or the Mount Everest. Since everything has two sides, this essay will discuss some pros and cons of this type of tourism. On the one hand, tourists gain many advantages from the trip to those extreme areas. Firstly, they may become stronger individuals physically and mentally. Before a trip, people have to do extensive exercises which are designed to train their physical health to fit the journey. Likewise, they must prepare their attitude so that they will not give up halfway. We may all agree that these journeys require tremendous effort to reach the destinations. Additionally, travellers can learn surviving skills in extreme conditions such as how to keep your body warm in the freezing temperature of Antarctic or how to navigate to find water if you are stuck in a desert. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks associated with the journey. There are some incidents that threaten people’s life during their trip. For instance, if you travel to the Sahara Desert and you forget to zip you tent properly at night, you may be visited by poisoned snakes. They are extremely dangerous because you can die with just a bite. Another important issue is that the environment can be affected due to human activities. Recently, the Nepali authority, the country where the Mount Everest situated, has raised an alarm of the rising pollution in thiss tourist destination. There are thousand tonnes of rubbish which the mountaineers leave behind every year. There is a campaign cleaning the “roof of the world”. In conclusion, travelling to difficult areas such as a desert, the poles or high mountains is either interesting or dangerous. It is only suitable for people who have good physical and mental health. People should consider carefully before attending to such journeys.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ravelling
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with new interesting experience. This may be the main reason why there is an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
to isolated places such as the Sahara Desert, the Antarctic or the Mount Everest. Since everything has two sides, this essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons of this type of tourism.

On the one hand, tourists gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to those extreme areas.
Firstly
, they may become stronger individuals
physically
and mentally.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do extensive exercises which
are designed
to train their physical health to fit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
.
Likewise
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prepare their attitude
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will not give up halfway. We may all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
require tremendous effort to reach the destinations.
Additionally
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to survive".
surviving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in extreme conditions such as how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your body warm in the freezing temperature of Antarctic or how to navigate to find water if you
are stuck
in a desert.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
incidents that threaten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
.
For instance
, if you travel to the Sahara Desert and you forget to zip you tent
properly
at night, you may
be visited
by poisoned snakes. They are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a bite. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue is that the environment can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
due to human activities. Recently, the Nepali authority, the country where the Mount Everest situated, has raised an alarm of the rising pollution in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thiss
tourist destination. There are
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
tonnes of rubbish which the mountaineers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
behind every year. There is a campaign cleaning the “roof of the world”.

In conclusion
, travelling to difficult areas such as a desert, the poles or high mountains is either interesting or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical and mental health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should consider
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
attending to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay The tendency of human beings to copy one other is shown in the popularity of some fashion clothes and consumer goods. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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