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Some people prefer to go to school or work driving their own cars. Others ride a bus, train or other means of public transportation. which one do you prefer and why? v.1

Some people prefer to go to school or work driving their own cars. Others ride a bus, train or other means of public transportation. which one do you prefer and why? v. 1
As for graduates of the school, being enrolled in the University or Colleges adds a value to their life. It is often argued that this is a positive way, whilst others disagree and think that it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay agrees that an academic education is beneficial to graduates. This essay will discuss both points of view. It is often argued that this is a positive development, whilst others disagree and think it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay agrees that an increase in technology is beneficial to students and teachers. This essay will discuss both points of view. It is clear that the academic education has been provided skills by delivering a huge knowledge of recognized experts’ experiences. Moreover, learners will get the ability to research and learn about any subject of life. It is therefore agreed that university and college are a very worthwhile tool for career. My father is a prime example, who was working for one of the government organizations as a Chairman, and he had graduated from the Moscow’s Military Conservator as a Conductor and he brought huge achievements in the Mongolian Music World. However, many disagree and feel that an academic education mitigates career path. Human interaction teaches people valuable skills such as discourse, debate and empathy. Despite this, human interaction is still possible through the internet and this essay disagrees technology should be dismissed for this reason. For instance, Skype and Facebook make it possible for people to interact in ways that were never before possible. In conclusion, while the benefits of technology, particularly the internet, allow students to tap into limitless sources of information, some still feel that people should be wary of this new phenomenon and not allow it to curb face to face interaction. However, as long as we are careful to keep in mind the importance of human interaction in education, the educational benefits are clearly positive.
As for graduates of the school,
being enrolled
in the University or Colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
a value to their life. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way, whilst others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disagree
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it will lead to adverse ramifications. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that an academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is beneficial to graduates. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss both points of view.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, whilst others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disagree
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will lead to adverse ramifications. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that an increase in technology is beneficial to students and teachers. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss both points of view.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
been provided
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by delivering a huge knowledge of recognized experts’ experiences.
Moreover
, learners will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the ability to research and learn about any subject of life. It is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that university and college are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
worthwhile tool for career. My father is a prime example, who was working for one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organizations as a Chairman, and he had graduated from the Moscow’s Military Conservator as a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Conductor and
he brought huge achievements in the Mongolian Music World.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disagree
and feel that an academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
mitigates career path. Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
teaches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as discourse, debate and empathy. Despite this, human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
is
still
possible through the internet and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disagrees
technology should
be dismissed
for this reason
.
For instance
, Skype and Facebook
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to interact in ways that were never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
possible.

In conclusion
, while the benefits of technology,
particularly
the internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
students to tap into limitless sources of information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
feel that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be wary of this new phenomenon and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
it to curb face to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
.
However
, as long as we are careful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind the importance of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the educational benefits are
clearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to go to school or work driving their own cars. Others ride a bus, train or other means of public transportation. which one do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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