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would you rather have the university assign a student to their room or would you rather choose your own roommate? v.1

would you rather have the university assign a student to their room or would you rather choose your own roommate? v. 1
It is true that in recent years, many urban dwellers have tended to live on their own or in nuclear families. In my opinion, this trend has both positive and negative consequences in equal measure. On the one hand, the rise in smaller households is a positive direction primarily for economic reasons. The migration of people from rural to urban areas has resulted in an enormous increase in demand for housing. The housing stock has been inadequate to cope with this demand, and so property developers have taken advantage of this population shift to raise house prices and rents. They have built apartment blocks which provide accommodation for only single people or small families. If they do not wish to endure squalid housing conditions, therefore, it is clearly necessary for people to live alone or in small, usually family, groups. On the other hand, there are negative aspects of this movement. With the mass exodus of people to cities, ties of kinship are broken as the extended family, which lived together in the countryside is broken up. Socially, family gatherings take place only rarely and, financially, living costs can no longer be shared between many family members living under the same roof. For example, grandparents or other relatives used to help with household expenses, child-minding and cooking. Individuals rarely felt lonely or isolated, experiencing a sense of alienation as they sometimes do in cities, without such family support. In conclusion, I believe that this trend has equally significant positive and negative aspects for both social and financial reasons.
It is true that in recent years,
many
urban dwellers have tended to
live
on their
own
or in nuclear
families
. In my opinion, this trend has both
positive
and
negative
consequences in equal measure.

On the one hand, the rise in smaller households is a
positive
direction
primarily
for economic reasons. The migration of
people
from rural to urban areas has resulted in an enormous increase in demand for housing. The housing stock has been inadequate to cope with this demand, and
so
property developers have taken advantage of this population shift to raise
house
prices and rents. They have built apartment blocks which provide accommodation for
only
single
people
or
small
families
. If they do not wish to endure squalid housing conditions,
therefore
, it is
clearly
necessary for
people
to
live
alone or in
small
,
usually
family
, groups.

On the other hand
, there are
negative
aspects of this movement. With the mass exodus of
people
to cities, ties of kinship
are broken
as the extended
family
, which
lived
together in the countryside
is broken
up.
Socially
,
family
gatherings take place
only
rarely and,
financially
, living costs can no longer
be shared
between
many
family
members living under the same roof.
For example
, grandparents or other relatives
used
to
help
with household expenses, child-minding and cooking. Individuals rarely felt lonely or isolated, experiencing a sense of alienation as they
sometimes
do in cities, without such
family
support.

In conclusion
, I believe that this trend has
equally
significant
positive
and
negative
aspects for both social and financial reasons.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay would you rather have the university assign a student to their room or would you rather choose your own roommate? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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