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Some people prefer to ask for advice before making an important decision. Others feel that it is best to make these decisions alone. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.2

Some people prefer to ask for advice before making an important decision. Others feel that it is best to make these decisions alone. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
In my opinion, I would prefer to ask for advice from others before starting an important work because elders are more experienced and because I don' t want to take a risk and repent later for my decision. To begin with, because our parents or elders have much more experienced than us. In other words, they have likely been through the same situations, so asking for their advice would make a huge difference. For instance, during my freshman year, I was confused about deciding my major. I had a difficult time evaluating and thinking about it and one of my friends suggested me to take advice from my professor, therefore, I took my professor' s advice and he could easily solve my problem within a new hour of counseling me. Thus, this example demonstrates an advice from elders or teachers can readily help us. Secondly, sometimes the decision that we have made would lead him in the wrong path thus, we might regret later on with the same. However, taking a big risk is not worth especially, when it comes to making an big decision. Hence, taking advice and help from our elders or friends can help us create a finer decision. My life is a compelling example of this. When I was in my school, I was having tough time with my math subject, I could not understand, despite trying hard to learns those formulas and methods, so, I was in a dilemma whether to take professional math tutor or to get tuition from my classmate, therefore, my sister advised me to get a professional help for myself as she has been through the same situation. She shared with me that taking help from batchmates might not solve my basic understanding, as a result, I might end up wasting my money. So I took her advice and I got could achieve far better marks on my final exam. Thus this example illustrates how elders can help us lead to better and regretless decisions. In summation, as far as I am concerned, It is best to take advice from elders because they are more experienced and because they could help us make better decisions.
In my opinion, I would prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
are more experienced and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t want to take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and repent later for my decision.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our parents or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
have much more experienced than us.
In other words
, they have likely been through the same situations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
asking for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge difference.
For instance
, during my freshman year, I
was confused
about deciding my major. I had a difficult time evaluating and thinking about it and one of my friends suggested me to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from my professor,
therefore
, I took my
Possible spelling mistake found.
professor&
#039; s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advice and
he could
easily
solve my problem within a new hour of counseling me.
Thus
, this example demonstrates an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
or teachers can
readily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
that we have made would lead him in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path
thus
, we might regret later on with the same.
However
, taking a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is not worth
especially
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to making
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
Hence
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
or friends can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us create a finer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. My life is a compelling example of this. When I was in my school, I was having tough time with my math subject, I could not understand, despite trying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
Did you mean "learn"?
learns
those formulas and methods,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I was in a dilemma whether to take professional math tutor or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tuition from my classmate,
therefore
, my sister advised me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for myself as she has been through the same situation. She shared with me that taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
batchmates
might not solve my basic understanding,
as a result
, I might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up wasting my money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I took her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
could achieve far better marks on my final exam.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
this example illustrates how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us lead to better and
Possible spelling mistake found.
regretless
decisions.

In summation, as far as I
am concerned
, It is best to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more experienced and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to ask for advice before making an important decision. Others feel that it is best to make these decisions alone. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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