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Some people prefer to ask for advice before making an important decision. Others feel that it is best to make these decisions alone. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.1

Some people prefer to ask for advice before making an important decision. Others feel that it is best to make these decisions alone. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1
In several parts of the world, there is currently a lack of students choosing to study science in universities and colleges. This problem happens due to some reasons, and it can have some adverse impacts on society. There are several reasons why fewer university students are choosing it as their major. Firstly, these subjects is usually more difficult and demanding, which requires students to put much effort into their study. For example, my friend who is doing a course in Biology said that he had to conduct too many experiments and complete numerous projects, which prevented him from having any free time. As a result, The subjects seem to be less attractive to students compared to economics or business-related subjects. Secondly, as there are currently fewer employment opportunities available for graduates in science fields, learners are less likely to decide to select these majors. Instead, they tend to choose other subjects which allow them to find jobs more easily. A shortage of learners in its fields can result in some negative effects. The first impact is that when fewer students decide to learn about science, there would be a serious shortage of employees working in these fields. This would lead to fewer technological developments, which would also prevent improvements in people’s life quality. For instance, it would be difficult for humans to produce newer smart phones with better functions. Additionally, while a significantly increasing number of students are choosing economics and business to study, the number of job vacancies in these areas is limited. In conclusion, the shortage of students choosing the subjects is caused by several factors, and this problem might bring about serious impacts.
In several parts of the world, there is
currently
a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choosing to study science in universities and colleges. This problem happens due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, and it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse impacts on society.

There are several reasons why fewer university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are choosing it as their major.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is
usually
more difficult and demanding, which requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to put much effort into their study.
For example
, my friend who is doing a course in Biology said that he had to conduct too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experiments and complete numerous projects, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
him from having any free time.
As a result
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
seem to be less attractive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
compared to economics or business-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Secondly
, as there are
currently
fewer employment opportunities available for graduates in science fields, learners are less likely to decide to select these majors.
Instead
, they tend to choose other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to find jobs more
easily
.

A shortage of learners in its fields can result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. The
first
impact is that when fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to learn about science, there would be a serious shortage of employees working in these fields. This would lead to fewer technological developments, which would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
improvements in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life quality.
For instance
, it would be difficult for humans to produce newer smart phones with better functions.
Additionally
, while a
significantly
increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are choosing economics and business to study, the number of job vacancies in these areas
is limited
.

In conclusion
, the shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is caused
by several factors, and this problem might bring about serious impacts.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to ask for advice before making an important decision. Others feel that it is best to make these decisions alone. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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