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Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. v. 1
Some would argue that cooperate decisions should be made with suggestions of all working employees while other says senior executives of the company should take major decisions. This essay believes that every employee shall allow sharing their ideas to make any decision for the organization because this approach will strengthen and reinforce the decision and make it more solid. On the one hand, some say all the decisions of the company should be taken by the President, Vice Presidents and, senior executives. This is because they spent more time with the company and aware of in's and out's, therefore, can put up the better ideas in favor of the company's benefit. For example, a recent survey found out, around 70 % of the financial institutions in the world is not considerd suggestions of their subordinates in decision making, and, despite that, they are excelling. However, I believe that everyone think differently no matter junior or senior; therefore, its nothing harm to get an idea from the juniors. On the other hand, some believe that seniors should involve and considerate all their juniors employees advice because they are using technology these days, which enables them to be smarter and think out of the box. For examples, recent research revealed that the bombardment of new and modern technologies like computer and smart phones make young people more creative and intelligent. Due to this reason, I think, to get young and every employee contribution in a corporate decision will not only beneficial for the company but also make everyone feel that they are valued. In conclusion, although all executive and senior personnel embedded with more experience, I believe that in the present era of technology, every company worker should be allowed to take part in a company's decision.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that cooperate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
should
be made
with suggestions of all working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
while other says
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
executives of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should take major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. This essay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
sharing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
for the organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this approach will strengthen and reinforce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it more solid.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should
be taken
by the President, Vice Presidents and,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
executives. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spent more time with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and aware of in's and out's,
therefore
, can put up the better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in favor of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's benefit.
For example
, a recent survey found out, around 70 % of the financial institutions in the world is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
considerd
suggestions of their subordinates in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
, and, despite that, they are excelling.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
no matter junior or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
;
therefore
, its nothing harm to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
from the juniors.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
should involve and considerate all their juniors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
advice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are using technology these days, which enables them to be smarter and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of the box. For examples, recent research revealed that the bombardment of new and modern technologies like computer and smart phones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more creative and intelligent. Due to this reason, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
young and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
contribution in a corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "feels", "felt".
feel
that they
are valued
.

In conclusion
, although all executive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
personnel embedded with more experience, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that in the present era of technology, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
worker should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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