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Young adults are the majority part of the society and being as a dominant part that would affect their importance in decision making for entire society. It is commonly argued that Young adults today have no influence on the important decisions that determ v.1

Young adults are the majority part of the society and being as a dominant part that would affect their importance in decision making for entire society. It is commonly argued that Young adults today have no influence on the important decisions that determ v. 1
In this male dominated society, it has been always become a controversial topic to select the numbers of the students in a particular subject. These people consider that universities should allow equal numbers of girls and boys in all subjects. This essay will discuss why the equality among male and female students in every subject is entirely necessary. To begin with, may educational institutes believe that there should be more male in all subjects. Those scholars consider to man as a more powerful for some subjects and they can do better than women. For example - universities, think that few subjects like engineering and medical are suitable for one male students, because they have an ability to do better in those fields rather than female students. According to them, women should participate in arts, sewing and fashion related courses, because they can perform in a good way for that education. These are the concerns for choosing only male for some areas. Despite these reasons, there should be always an equality among all genders during the selection for every field. Everyone has a right to choose their dream education and this is the modern era of male and female. For instance, nowadays women are rubbing their shoulders with men in every part of the world and famine can also do everything in which men can perform. Indeed, medical science does not matter about the gender, because it is suitable for everyone, and knowledge matters a lot rather than gender. To conclude, this essay discussed why it is an important to choose an equal number of men and women in every field? In my opinion, I completely agree with this statement and it is an absolutely essential for the advancement of society.
In this male dominated society, it
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'has' and 'been'.
has been always
become a controversial topic to select the numbers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that universities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
equal numbers of girls and boys in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. This essay will discuss why the equality among male and female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is
entirely
necessary.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, may educational institutes believe that there should be more male in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Those scholars consider to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
as a more powerful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subjects and
they can do better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
For example
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
universities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like engineering and medical are suitable for one male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have an ability to do better in those fields
rather
than female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. According to them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should participate in arts, sewing and fashion related courses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can perform in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for that education. These are the concerns for choosing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
male for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas.

Despite these reasons, there should be always an equality among all genders during the selection for every field. Everyone has a right to choose their dream education and this is the modern era of male and female.
For instance
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are rubbing their shoulders with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in every part of the world and famine can
also
do everything in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
can perform.
Indeed
, medical science does not matter about the gender,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is suitable for everyone, and knowledge matters a lot
rather
than gender.

To conclude
, this essay discussed why it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to choose an equal number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in every field? In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and it is an
absolutely
essential for the advancement of society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Young adults are the majority part of the society and being as a dominant part that would affect their importance in decision making for entire society. It is commonly argued that Young adults today have no influence on the important decisions that determ v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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