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Some people prefer television programs that presents serious issues. Other people prefer those that are for entertainment only. Which kind of program do you consider the most important for people to watch and why? v.1

Some people prefer television programs that presents serious issues. Other people prefer those that are for entertainment only. Which kind of program do you consider the most important for people to watch and why? v. 1
Though space exploration is an advanced field which helps us know the un-explored regions of this vast universe, spending huge amounts of monetary and human resources in this field can be kept on pause for the time, until, some major problems in the current world scenario are addressed first. The investments made on unraveling the mysteries of the universe can be better used to tackle some of the evident world problems like water crisis, global warming etc. We as humans should focus our time and money on medicine and on improving quality of life. These resources can be better put to use to eradicate existing diseases and researches around it. For instance, with the rise in diseases like Ebola, swine-flu and dengue, plethora of flora and fauna species are at the risk of extinction. Moreover, even homo-sapiens have not been spared from the risks of such diseases. Furthermore, the money can be better spent on preserving existing resources on the earth. Global warming is one such issue which goes un-noticed and should be addressed immediately compared to any space exploration program which can wait until alarming issues such as water scarcity and deforestation are solved. To illustrate this, in the last decade, we have had over twenty space exploration missions, most of them failing due to minor technical issues like the Space-X and NASA exploration missions. This means humungous amounts of capital and time of some of the most brilliant minds have been put to waste with no scope of usage in the near future. I second the fact that funding of space exploration missions should be put on hold until the basic needs of survival and well-being of mankind in the current world are resolved first.
Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
is an advanced field which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us know the
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-explored
regions of this vast universe, spending huge amounts of monetary and human resources in this field can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on pause for the time, until,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major problems in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world scenario
are addressed
first
. The investments made on unraveling the mysteries of the universe can be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to tackle
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
evident world problems like water crisis, global warming etc.

We as humans should focus our time and money on medicine and on improving quality of life. These resources can be better put to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to eradicate existing diseases and researches around it.
For instance
, with the rise in diseases like Ebola, swine-flu and dengue, plethora of flora and fauna species are at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of extinction.
Moreover
, even homo-sapiens have not
been spared
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of such diseases.

Furthermore
, the money can be better spent on preserving existing resources on the earth. Global warming is one such issue which goes
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-noticed
and should
be addressed
immediately compared to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
program which can wait until alarming issues such as water scarcity and deforestation
are solved
. To illustrate this, in the last decade, we have had over twenty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
missions, most of them failing due to minor technical issues like the Space-X and NASA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
missions. This means humungous amounts of capital and time of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the most brilliant minds have
been put
to waste with no scope of usage in the near future.

I second the fact that funding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
missions should
be put
on hold until the basic needs of survival and well-being of mankind in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world
are resolved
first
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer television programs that presents serious issues. Other people prefer those that are for entertainment only. Which kind of program do you consider the most important for people to watch and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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