Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO 46 - Question 3 No More Posters Outside the Student Center Traditionally, students have been permitted to put up posters advertising events, clubs, and activities on the concrete wall outside the main entrance to the student center Beginning next sem v.1

TPO 46 - Question 3 No More Posters Outside the Student Center Traditionally, students have been permitted to put up posters advertising events, clubs, and activities on the concrete wall outside the main entrance to the student center Beginning next sem v. 1
Nowadays students' behaviour causes serious issues in schools. Some of the explored reasons include flexible rules at educational establishments and lack of guidance at home. To ameliorate such problems, schools should incorporate strict policies for bad behaviour, while parents should also participate in shaping their younger generations personality. This essay will discuss in detail the above mentioned causes and its solution. There are many reasons why the activities of school students are being detrimental. Firstly, these years institutes have stopped punishing learners for inappropriate behaviours. This is partly because of global trends in initiating friendly environment at schools, and partly due to reformed laws where many forms of punishments are made illegal. For instance, in 2019, in Nepal, principals of five secondary educational institutions had faced legal charges for disciplining pupils. The second reason is a lack of affection and attention from parents, that is to say parents at present hardly spend time with their children as both of them are busy working. Consequently, these youngsters, particularly, adolescents behave badly to seek attention. A survey report published in, The Himalayan times, reported that among teenagers, those were studied for their misbehaviour; 87% had done so to get attention from their father and mother. Thus, the problem of misbehaving with students arise due to having lenient rules at school and a lack of parental guidance at home. Meanwhile, the solutions are embedded in those causes. First and foremost, the students ought to face consequences when they behave inappropriately. However, these corrections should be constructive rather than corporal. For example, when a student litter the garbage, he should be made to clean the whole floor. In addition, parents should spare a few hours from their schedule to spend with their young ones. It will give a sense of attachment and importance to the child. Therefore, interventions should be made by both learning institution and home. To conclude, pupils these days do not have to confront their behaviour and they do not get enough time from their parents, thus, leading to misbehave at school. This can be resolved by positively handling students from both teachers and parents.
Nowadays students'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
causes serious issues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
explored reasons include flexible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
at educational establishments and lack of guidance at home. To ameliorate such problems,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should incorporate strict policies for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
also
participate in shaping their younger generations personality. This essay will discuss in detail the above mentioned causes and its solution.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why the activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are being detrimental.
Firstly
, these years institutes have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
punishing learners for inappropriate
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. This is partly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of global trends in initiating friendly environment at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, and partly due to reformed laws where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forms of punishments
are made
illegal.
For instance
, in 2019, in Nepal, principals of five secondary educational institutions had faced legal charges for disciplining pupils. The second reason is a lack of affection and attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
that is
to say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
at present hardly spend time with their children as both of them are busy working.
Consequently
, these youngsters,
particularly
, adolescents behave
badly
to seek attention. A survey report published in, The Himalayan times, reported that among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, those
were studied
for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
; 87% had done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attention from their father and mother.
Thus
, the problem of misbehaving with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
arise due to having lenient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and a lack of parental guidance at home.

Meanwhile, the solutions
are embedded
in those causes.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to face consequences when they behave
inappropriately
.
However
, these corrections should be constructive
rather
than corporal.
For example
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "litters".
litter
the garbage, he should
be made
to clean the whole floor.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spare a few hours from their schedule to spend with their young ones. It will give a sense of attachment and importance to the child.
Therefore
, interventions should
be made
by both learning institution and home.

To conclude
, pupils these days do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
confront their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
behaviour and
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
thus
, leading to misbehave at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This can
be resolved
by
positively
handling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from both teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay TPO 46 - Question 3 No More Posters Outside the Student Center Traditionally, students have been permitted to put up posters advertising events, clubs, and activities on the concrete wall outside the main entrance to the student center Beginning next sem v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts